Doug Giles

Dad, do you want to ensure that your girl doesn’t end up broke, bulimic, married to Bobby Brown, or more bellicose than Courtney Love is after she’s run out of crack and booze? You do? Well, good for you.

Having been personally blessed with two beautiful niñas, it’s my duty (duh) to raise these fair lassies to be large and in charge. Which means (in today’s twisted sister culture) that as a father, I’ve got to help them strategically and energetically paddle up the heavy rapids of a stinky creek.

Having been semi-successful with my Xena-like teenage tornadoes (and being the nice guy that I am), I want to accomplish several things with this column . . . my Manifesto for Raising Girls That Pimps and Thugs Will Hate: I want to encourage the dads who are doing their due diligence. I’d also like to inform other fathers who’re groping for some moral rutter. And last on my list, I’d like to thump in the skull the dufus dads who are abnegating their responsibility to protect their girls and to make sure they’re properly prepared for life.

Having covered points one (Teach Them How to Fight) and two (Teach Them How to Shoot Guns) in my last two columns (click my Pix for my archives), herewith are the remaining eight points that’ll help your heiresses eat idiots for lunch.

3. Teach Them How to Sense BS. Princeton Philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt states, “One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullsh*t." Call it non-sense, truth bending, reality styling, Mark Foley-itus, mendacity, Air America or whatever, you do not need to be the coldest beer in the fridge to recognize that lies, hype and spin are now seeing more action than Bill Clinton would at the Hooters in Little Rock. Now granted, most gobbledygook is harmless. However, some BS is disastrous. Case in point: the amorous, nauseous oozings that a Joran Van der Sloot excreted, and that were, unfortunately, bought by Natalie Holloway. Not discerning this Dutch dillweed’s depravity cost Natalie her life.

Speaking of Natalie and bad dates: Girls, if ‘red flags’ start going off in your head, your skin begins to crawl up your arm and your gut revolts against your eyes and ears—then you might want to pay attention to what your body and your intuition are telling you.

Yes, your sixth sense is trying to tell you there is something awry with Mr. Nice Guy. Don’t blow off this in-house salvo; rather, get well acquainted with your internal ticker. It’ll help you see through the veil of crap most bad guys live behind.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.