Doug Giles

Matter of fact, the church ought to go the second mile and instead of berating these people help them design a bumper sticker identifying themselves as The Da Vinci Code adherents. I’m thinkin’ instead of fish symbol, Dan’s droogies could placard their hybrids with a photo of Jethro Bodine or maybe a silhouette of a house with lights on but no one home.

Look, church, I’m all for bearding false prophets Elijah-style, and I’m glad that our apologists have risen to the occasion and confronted this easy-to-pick-apart book/movie, but we need to relax; this film shall pass, and we have substantially bigger fish to fry. I predict, at the end of the hype, that this film will flop like the hairdos in A Flock of Seagulls. It’s got Oliver Stone’s Alexander written all over it, and the initial critiques coming from the critics at Cannes this week are a bit on the caustic side. This flick will never, ever come close to The Passion’s numbers.

In addition to apologists coming forth and defending the truth claims of the scripture, I’m also delighted to see believers getting righteously PO’d at this continuous, gratuitous assault against Christianity in Tinsel Town. Not only am I pig sick of Hollywood, but I’m also furious with the Louvre. I had planned to buy the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper with the cash from my new book deal, but now . . . now, I’m taking my business elsewhere.

Lastly, I’ve got a word for Mr. Brown. Congratulations on your temporal success. I hope you enjoy it. Also, I’ve got to give you props in the nerve department for going out on a limb with a touchy topic like this. You’ve got some juevos in picking a fight with Jesus and the Church. For your sake, I hope that you’re right in what you’ve tabled in The Da Vinci Code. If you’re not right, you’d better hope that Jesus is in a chipper mood when you meet Him at the Judgment Seat. Yeah … you had better pray that He’s breezy with your blasphemous botching of His bio—because if He’s not, you might want to duck when you finally go toe-to-toe with Him.

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Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.