Doug Giles
Let me see if I get this right: In Hollywood, it is bad to portray Christ as God in the flesh, sacrificed for our sins and resurrected as Lord of all—but it is cool to show Him hooking up with some first century, penitential, Emily Rose type chick and having a love child?

Yes, in Stupidville, Mel Gibson was critically deep-fried for a gospel accurate depiction of Christ’s substitutionary death for the world’s wantonness, but this Da Vinci Code dude is hailed as Hollywood’s Playmate of the Month for his historical re-write regarding the deity and life of Christ. How sweet and . . . how telling.

Were any of you unfortunate enough to have happened upon Entertainment Tonight this past week and to catch the eternally blonde Mary Hart gush over this phlegm—I mean film? Y’know, aside from Mary (and the MSM), the only other people I know who are this excited about fresh BS are the people who own fertilizer companies.

Mary, if you’re reading this column, I’ve got some advice for you: 1) Less is more and 2) Please quit your job . . . like right now. We want to remember the young and “with it” Mary, not the rapidly aging desperate host who will endorse anything to stay on TV. Look, you had a good run; but it is now time to hand the salacious baton to another bubble headed bleach blonde and let her keep us abreast of all things absurd.

Now, I want to address the church. Hey, Christians: dial down a bit. Most rational people understand that The Da Vinci Code is a work of fiction (except for some in Miami . . . in particular, the Costco wizards who put the book in the non-fiction section).

I, personally (Lord forgive me), couldn’t care less if the ones who think this 21st century regurgitation of first century Gnosticism is true ever come to church. Who wants these gullible doofuses around? These are probably the same people that bought a Flobee, or worked for Howard Dean, or think that the Ron Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman is a real doozy, or sent Clooney medical questions while he was on ER and think Martin Sheen would make a good president. I say let these lemmings lock step with Dan Brown and his Church of the New Groove.

If this book/movie causes non-Christians to not to believe in Christ, as portrayed in scripture, then let them not believe. In addition, if The Da Vinci Code causes the fringe adherents of our fellowship to exchange the greatest story ever told for the greatest turkey ever sold, then let them. To each his own.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.