Doug Giles

Anyway, back to being a doormat.  To skirt the victory that comes with being bold in your beliefs there are a couple of things you must put between your cheek and gum and chew.  First off, you must deeply believe that nothing is worth fighting for, much less, dying for.  Work this mantra into your mind:  peace is always preferable to conflict—even if the times demand an ideological or physical throw down. 

Lock your soul’s sights on being a survivor and not a warrior.  Never mind that surviving is sometimes the worst thing that can happen to you when the situation calls for you to do something sacrificial that might cost you a party invitation or a pound of flesh.

Segueing off the “survival at all costs” motif, of necessity, the capitulator must quickly learn to become an excellent kisser of the gluteus maximus.  You’ve got to get good at this if you want to shed from your soul every ounce of dignity.  Dignity, forthrightness and the determination to stand-alone and oppose that which is wrong will hurt your desires for a defective life.  If this stuff somehow becomes part of your MO . . . well . . .  you’re doomed; eventually you would become something, and we don’t want that to happen, do we?

In order to succeed at acquiring a sucky existence, you must remember that getting along is more important than what’s right or wrong—no matter who or what you have to sell out.  Your focus should be on being cautious about preserving your reputation and social standing, not righteousness and truth.

To become proficient at puckering up to the posterior of others, stand in front of the mirror and pretend that someone just told you something completely ridiculous.  Or that you just saw something that is atrocious—either politically, culturally or ecclesiastically. 

Now, instead of actually saying or doing anything about the situation, simply bow and pretend to kiss the person’s (or the party’s) backside.  In addition, you may want to roll over and wet yourself.  Definitely do not stand up, or speak up, or rile up, or throw up, or toss empty take out food containers at the TV or even roll your eyes or do anything that would remotely suggest that you think whatever you saw or heard is complete and utter horse dooky.  You must, you can and you will erase from your psyche every ounce of common sense and courage to get to that coveted place of being a blank and soulless slate. 

To expedite this icky-ness, I’ll leave you with a simple exercise that you can do in the privacy of your own home.  All you need is a mirror and a few minutes.  Here we go now.  First, wet your whistle, and now pucker.  Release.  Pucker.  Release.  Do this for eight minutes, seven times a day for the next six months, and I guarantee you’ll be well on your way to nowhere.  Drop what you’re doing right now and pucker.  Release.  Pucker.  Release.  There you go.  That was easy enough, eh? 

Now, go run out there, without any sense of belief, firmly convinced that there is no right or wrong and be the convictionless, glute-kissing aficionado we all know you can be.  For certain, this wet-noodle-like spine you’ve embraced will keep you within the complicit herd and not at the head of the pack where success and change are found.

* Logon to and pick up a copy of Giles' latest teaching DVD, Ruling in Babylon, filmed before a very live audience in Cape Town, South Africa. Also, while there, check out Doug's new interview with Tony Blankley, author of the book, The West's Last Chance: Will We Win the Clash of Civilizations?

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.