PETA is full of SHEETA

Doug Giles

10/9/2005 12:05:00 AM - Doug Giles

The paranormal at PETA are at it again with another stupidity campaign, and this one, mom and dad, is aimed at your kids. PETA, with its couldn't-be-more-bizarre-if-they-tried zombies, is out in full farce with their sights set on getting your little ones, apart from you, to worship animals and eat lettuce for the rest of their lives.

Their current cacophony of craziness is this: if you took Skooter, Jr. fishing this year, well then, you're the devil. You . . . are a bad parent. And the kids should, "turn in their fishing tackle" and even grab "Grandpa's fishing rod so it won't cause any more pain and suffering." [www.fishinghurts.com]

Through stealth research, spending tens of dollars (not to mention several acid trips in which they personally interviewed many fish), the wizards at PETA have concluded that fishing hurts the fish. No kidding? I wouldn't have thought that a sharp hook in a fish's mouth would hurt. Garsh. Thanks for the enlightenment. But y'know . . . even in this newly illuminated state, I couldn't care less. All I've got to say is, "I'm top of the food chain. Pass the tartar sauce, and get in my belly."

Now if PETA wants to think that way, fine. That means more fish for me. And if PETA gets their jollies as they read High Times and watch The Lion King while wearing pleather, gargling rice milk and eating tofu, well then let them. It's a free country. But if they want to surreptitiously indoctrinate my kids with their madness, they have just faux- leathered their way into my sacred zone where trespassers are unwelcome.

Knowing that sanity reigns supreme in most American households and that the vast majority of parents think the PETA cronies are certifiable, the mentally challenged at PETA have gotten busy developing kiddy websites, worming their way into mass media and stoking their plants within the public fool system with a fresh batch of PETA Kool-Aid. Be prepared, mom and dad, for the possibility that your unmonitored kid will get that Ban roll-on glazed look over their eyes, chant the mantra of the non-meat eaters, and give you that tsk-tsk look if you order chicken for dinner, because PETA is specifically gunning for them.

If it were up to this gang (and that's what they are) your kids would not dissect a frog, buy Dr. Marten's, hunt quail, catch a trout, go to a circus or drink a glass of Elsie's best, and they would virulently rebel against those who do, including you.

That's just a little FYI, from me to you, so be on the look out for their beyond the pale political correctness to be crammed down your kids' throats.

Now, here's a little 411 to give to your children regarding what hunters and anglers, that's right, "fish-catchers, meat-eaters and leather-wearers," actually do on a on-going and on-growing annual basis for the flora and fauna of our fantabulous nation:

1. HUNTING & FISHING LICENSE SALES total nearly $1 billion annually. This contribution supplies over half the income of the state conservation agencies and is used for wildlife management, education and safety programs.

2. EXCISE TAXES on sporting equipment, such as fishing tackle, firearms and ammunition, provide another $400 million, funding thousands of conservation, habitat improvement and recreation projects across America.

3. DUCK STAMPS purchased by migratory bird hunters add another $21 million in annual funding, totaling over $500 million to date. This money has been used to purchase some 5 million acres of wetlands habitat.

4. CHARITABLE CONTRIBUTIONS by hunters and anglers to some 10,000 private organizations provide another $300 million in wildlife funding, in addition to the countless hours they spend doing vital conservation work.

5. ALL TOLD, hunters and anglers annually provide over 75% of the average funding for state conservation agencies and some nine dollars for each single taxpayer dollar invested in wildlife.

Like I said, make sure you kids get this brief.

Virtually every species of wildlife, from songbirds and chipmunks to bald eagles and whooping cranes, benefits from the programs supported and financed by hunters and anglers. PETA . . . well . . . they don't even come close to that. They won't, and they never will, no matter how many hepatitis-C-carting soft porn stars, B-grade actors and brothers of famous people speak on their behalf, or how many bizarre protests they stage, or how many shocking comic books they launch to boost their losing battle.

My advice, mom and dad: take your kids hunting this fall and fishing this spring and summer.  Introduce them to the respectful and responsible way enjoying and using of these amazingly healthy natural resources.  Join the NRA and the IGFA, as well as other state and local hunting and fishing organizations. Also, tell the teachers at that Kool-Aid Elementary that their anti-hunting, fishing and leather-wearing smack is not going to go down with you and yours and that they need to save that rhetoric for their weekend bong sessions with their adult friends who don't mind smoking it.

I honestly wish these PETA morons would get as zealous at protecting the rights of an unborn child as they are in trying to stop someone from making an omelet out of whooping crane eggs.

Well, I must run . . . I've got a big slab of snook to eat, and a whitetail deer/wild boar/American Bison hunt in Texas next month for which I must prepare. However, if you want more info regarding PETA and their unending weirdness and hypocrisy, go to www.petakillsanimals.com and www.consumerfreedom.com.

* Logon to www.ClashRadio.com and pick up a copy of Giles' latest teaching DVD, Ruling in Babylon, filmed before a very live audience in Cape Town, South Africa. Also, while there, check out Doug's new interview with rock icon, Ted Nugent. For comments or foments you can mail Giles directly at mail@clashradio.com