Doug Giles

The paranormal at PETA are at it again with another stupidity campaign, and this one, mom and dad, is aimed at your kids. PETA, with its couldn't-be-more-bizarre-if-they-tried zombies, is out in full farce with their sights set on getting your little ones, apart from you, to worship animals and eat lettuce for the rest of their lives.

Their current cacophony of craziness is this: if you took Skooter, Jr. fishing this year, well then, you're the devil. You . . . are a bad parent. And the kids should, "turn in their fishing tackle" and even grab "Grandpa's fishing rod so it won't cause any more pain and suffering." []

Through stealth research, spending tens of dollars (not to mention several acid trips in which they personally interviewed many fish), the wizards at PETA have concluded that fishing hurts the fish. No kidding? I wouldn't have thought that a sharp hook in a fish's mouth would hurt. Garsh. Thanks for the enlightenment. But y'know . . . even in this newly illuminated state, I couldn't care less. All I've got to say is, "I'm top of the food chain. Pass the tartar sauce, and get in my belly."

Now if PETA wants to think that way, fine. That means more fish for me. And if PETA gets their jollies as they read High Times and watch The Lion King while wearing pleather, gargling rice milk and eating tofu, well then let them. It's a free country. But if they want to surreptitiously indoctrinate my kids with their madness, they have just faux- leathered their way into my sacred zone where trespassers are unwelcome.

Knowing that sanity reigns supreme in most American households and that the vast majority of parents think the PETA cronies are certifiable, the mentally challenged at PETA have gotten busy developing kiddy websites, worming their way into mass media and stoking their plants within the public fool system with a fresh batch of PETA Kool-Aid. Be prepared, mom and dad, for the possibility that your unmonitored kid will get that Ban roll-on glazed look over their eyes, chant the mantra of the non-meat eaters, and give you that tsk-tsk look if you order chicken for dinner, because PETA is specifically gunning for them.

If it were up to this gang (and that's what they are) your kids would not dissect a frog, buy Dr. Marten's, hunt quail, catch a trout, go to a circus or drink a glass of Elsie's best, and they would virulently rebel against those who do, including you.

That's just a little FYI, from me to you, so be on the look out for their beyond the pale political correctness to be crammed down your kids' throats.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.