Doug Giles

The horrific devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Katrina has shown New Orleans’ true saints, and it has also revealed her veritable sphincter, i.e., the looters.  What a sorry and disgusting, must-have-an-all-access-laminated-pass-in-hell-waiting-for-them, dregs-of-humanity lot these looting losers are.  What a glut of soulless, pathetic hyenas this carousing compost heap is. 

I’m sorry.  I think I just offended all hyenas by grouping these bipod genetic glitches with our four-legged furry scavengers.

I think we’re all big boys and can understand legitimate looting when one’s entire world has just collapsed and he’s forced to survive or die—but surviving is not what these savage swamp rats are doing.   No, these festering zits see this as their big chance to get a plasma TV and a Rolex—and even worse, an occasion to rape someone and get away with it. 

While starving souls are helping themselves (with the legitimate consent of the National Guard and local cops) to some Progresso® Chicken Noodle Soup, Ritz Crackers, DINTY MOORE® beef stew, Evian, Similac and Wet Wipes, the looters are stocking up on CDs, Tag Heuers, 47 pairs of Nike’s, Swarovski crystal and massive amounts of Heineken.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but the last time I checked, Bose Wave radios and tennis bracelets weren’t part of the major four food groups. 

On top of all the inter-galactic, inexcusable crud going down with these thugs, we have morons on radio and TV trying to justify their decadent behavior.  Just the other night I heard a minister on television say that “we cannot judge the looters” and that “we don’t how we would react if put in such a situation.”  Oh yeah?  Well, kum-ba-frickin’-yah!

What’s with this “we can’t judge lawless behavior” stuff?  You mean to tell me that when we get slapped by Mother Nature, civility is to take a siesta and lawlessness is to become legal?  Well, if that’s true you’re going to have to scrape my frontal lobe with a cement trowel, preacher man, because I think boosting stereo equipment and gutting a restaurant is BS no matter what calamity befalls us.

The major rub I have with the chaos this marauding looting mob has caused is this: the courageous work of the awesome authorities and the selfless civilians—who are doing their best to rescue the perishing—gets diverted in order to try to stop the looting that is becoming increasingly hostile. 

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.