Doug Giles

Ah yes, the good old school daze are back, and the students, teachers and parents are busy bees prepping for the year ahead.  The schools are now abuzz with last minute planning as pupils, parents and principals buckle down to gear up for the challenges that come with a fresh academic calendar. 

The teachers, too, are working hard.  Not only are they brushing up on how to regurgitate a force fed, liberal-agenda-laden curriculum, but they also, of necessity, are learning how to defuse bombs, wrest weapons, taser teens during gang rapes and negotiate hostage crises.

The custodians are also at full throttle with their normal back to school chores such as arc welding the new computers to the steel desks that are bolted down to the concrete classroom floor inside of a windowless bunker that has just had a brand spanking new coat of paint applied to cover over the profuse gang graffiti and obscenities left there from the summer school crowd. 

To finish off the refurbishments and to set the tone for a positive school year, the old barbed wire that was strewn around the perimeter has been replaced with fresh and shiny razor wire.  You gotta love our public schools and their commitment to excellence.

In addition, the administrators, in conjunction with the local cops and security companies, have been diligently organizing bright chains for school lockdowns, deciding at which exits they should park the squad cars, what bullets they should use for shooting into crowds and the necessary test checks on the multitudinous metal detectors to make certain the sensors are both sensitive and loud.

It kind of warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it?

It doesn’t?

Look, with all of the government’s attention to detail, most parents still do not have a sense of security in giving their beloved children over to the public school system.  The sense of security and of confidence that their children will be both well-educated and kept safe within a sane environment has officially left the building—around the same time Elvis left the planet.

Once again, on a (school day) daily basis, the parents are back to sweating profusely over stuff like:

1. The high probability that their daughter will be sexually harassed by thugs that shouldn’t be allowed in a low security prison, much less a public school. 

2. The possibility of their 13 year-old son learning about sex by having sex with a 42 year-old Mary Kay Letourneau wannabe.

3. Having their moral authority and everything they have taught their kids get thrashed like Ed Klein’s new book at Hillary’s house.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.