Doug Giles

Pinocchio, JLo, Pamela Anderson and Alfred Hitchcock have a less obvious profile than the current death-dealing terrorist demographic.  We know exactly what gender and religion are spawning these acts of horror.  This would be one of the easiest cases to chase if the ACLU, the over-sensitive media and PC politicians would just stay the heck out of the way and shut their blathering pie-holes.
To deny who has been culpable and who is probable for the next act of war against the West would relegate us to the “stupidest people” on the planet category.  To not specifically investigate Muslim men, especially within our borders, who are between the ages of 17-40 would be completely goofy. 
Don’t believe me?
Then take this little history test and tell me if you see a pattern.  I’m not sure who actually developed the test, although I’d love to give them credit. It’s been around for a few months, but given the latest London bombings I felt it needed a revival to refresh our minds regarding the ones who want us dead.  Go ahead and give it a shot, and see if you begin to notice an outline forming around the odious ones.

The following is a multiple-choice test. The events are cuts from history. Yes, they actually happened!
1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim man between the ages of 17 and 40
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70-year old
American passenger was murdered in his wheelchair and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems
c. The WWE
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
14. The recent bombings and bombing attempts in London were carried out by:
a. Desperate Housewives
b. The cast of The View
c. Fox and Friends
d. Muslim men mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Are you seeing a pattern . . . dare I say, a profile, developing here?
To anyone who says that we are targeting Muslim men between the ages of 17-40, and that such narrowness is profiling, all I’ve got to say to that deduction is . . . No %@&*! 
They are the ones who drew their own silhouette.  All we’re doing is connecting the bigger-than-Dallas-dots, doofus.  And by the way, this profile has not changed for hundreds of years.  Sure, there will be the stray blonde chick who leaves her Baptist roots and joins their jihad; but by and large, it’s going to be a Muslim dude who’s anywhere between his teens and his mid-life crisis who will be the villain for the next 700 Olympics.  Unfortunately, I don’t anticipate the radicals dialing down anytime soon. This means we can pretty much leave other people alone in our investigations. 
Profiling doesn’t rattle the innocent’s cage.  The guiltless, understanding moderate Muslim men who love America and disavow their diseased brethren will not, and should not, have any problem allowing local cops or the Feds to pry into their businesses, back packs or BlackBerrys.  Right?  If they’ve got nothing to hide, no wicked agenda, then they shouldn’t care if the law pokes around a bit in their affairs. 
In addition to profiling, I say let the random checks continue.  I’m all for the arbitrary assessment of others.  For example, let’s say a “girl” that looks like Klinger from the sitcom M*A*S*H wants to board an American Airline’s flight from Miami to D.C. with a ticking 80-pound Louis Vuitton backpack. I say, let’s night stick her and then strip her down.  Look, the more we stick to this very specific profile the quicker we’re going to roll over the exact logs that these rodents dwell under; hopefully, we’ll git ‘er done before they, once again, hit and run. 
*Logon to and listen to Doug’s interview with New York Times best-selling author, Bernard Goldberg, as they discuss his new book, 100 People Who Are Screwing up America (and Al Franken is #37).

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.

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