Dear Moderate Muslims,
What’s up? I see that you guys have been in the news a lot lately. I thought I’d write you a letter and ask you some questions because it seems as if some Muslims are involved in some very bad stuff around the globe, i.e. targeting and killing innocent people and all in the name of your god.
After the damnable 911 terror attacks, President Bush stated that, “Islam is a religion of peace” and the people who carried out these atrocious acts of war are the evil fringe adherents of a good religion. We’d all like to believe him. The British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, says that those who carried out the 7/7 attacks on London held “poisonous and perverted” views of Islam that are inconsistent with what the Quran teaches.
So . . . what I’m getting from President Bush, Prime Minister Blair and many others is that Islam, as it is taken from the Quran, condemns both violent acts and those behind them and tables via its teachings harmony with all of humanity. I’d like to believe that, and seeing that you’re a moderate adherent, I’ve got a couple of questions to ask you regarding some of the radicals who are seriously fouling your peaceful religion’s public persona.
Look, I know that all groups and families have relatives and constituents they wish wouldn’t align themselves with their party or family because they are . . . let’s say . . . uh . . . loopy. Like my one-eyed, Uncle Slappy White who works for the Muleshoe, Texas sanitation department. Man, you do not want to bring him around your friends, especially when he’s all liquored up. He can be quite the embarrassment. Therefore, I can empathize with being wrongfully associated with some weirdoes who clearly do not represent who you are.
Please indulge me, moderate Muslims. I have two simple questions regarding your current religious beliefs, as we would not want you to be confused with the aberrant devotees with whom, we were told, you wholeheartedly disagree.
1. Seeing that you differ with the radical lunatic fringe players in your religion, we can safely know and state that you do not view the West and those who do not share your religious beliefs as “The Great Satan,” correct?