Spanked

Doug Giles
|
Posted: Nov 06, 2004 12:00 AM

What a spanking Kerry and Edwards received?eh? After the liberal media?s axis of drivel worked their butts off to belittle Bush and airbrush Kerry into a moderate messiah, the American people ended up buying neither Kerry?s career/character makeover nor the vilification of Bush. 

The lunatic uber-liberal lug nuts were stunned Wednesday morning that Kerry didn?t carry this election.  Yeah, it is hard to imagine Kerry and Edwards not solidly connecting with Middle America.  With all the support for him from

· Has-been Jurassic rock stars,
· Gold-toothed gangsta rappers,
· Bleached-blond MTV male thugs,
· Bisexual lip-syncing tarts,
· A chunky female country singer,
· Hollywood, with its swing clubs and Hustler superstores,
· Famous people who are famous for being famous,
· Prancing and screaming gay activists,
· PETA?s naked anti-hunting and anti-beef-eating protestors who wouldn?t hurt a bird but are cool with aborting a baby,
· A Europe-lauding Wall Street billionaire,
· Blathering liberal talking pinheads,
· Rosie and her anti-traditional family ilk,
· Pro-partial-birth-abortion monsters,
· America-hating European and UN leaders and ?
· The all-American regular guy, communist Michael ?the manatee? Moore,

you?d think that Kerry and the Dim-o-crats would have grabbed Middle America?s heart, soul, mind and vote.  But much to John and John?s and their left-of-reality constituency?s chagrin, the Dim-o-crats ended up more off base with their campaign than Carl Crawford on a wild pitch.

Look, I?m sure that the aforementioned Kerry cabal has a lot to say regarding ?

· Buying a Bentley,
· Conducting an orgy,
· The preeminent natural herb for curbing the side effects of herpes,
· How to pick out the right stripper and midget for a m?ge ?rois,
· Where to get nice leather pants,
· Which silicone company produces the best butt implants,
· Where to buy Viagra by volume,
· How to drink alcohol like Otis on Mayberry RFD,
· How to juggle a wife and girlfriend(s),
· How to mousse one?s hair to stand up like Elsa Lancaster?s in The Bride of Frankenstein,
· Where to get a tattoo on your a**,
· Where  to have a tattoo removed from your a**,
· Where to buy a purple velvet spandex cat suit, a good cravat, and felt booties, 
· How to redistribute someone else?s wealth to pimps, whores and welfare brats,
· How to rid one?s nation of Judeo-Christian ethics and ?
· How to make a mock-u-mentary film filled with complete crap about a standing war-time president.

But Americans were not looking for that 411 at this crisis time in U.S. history.  Therefore, the vast majority of the American populace was not taking Kerry?s cronies? assessment of our nation?s needs and priorities or the viability of their ?new? direction seriously.  And thus, we ?non-progressive? common and dull old cattle gave Bush this overwhelming mandate: Carry on, Mr. President. 

My ClashPoint is this: Kerry and his radical freak constituency just did not resonate with us unenlightened rabble.  The majority of Americans wouldn?t trust these east of Eden caricatures to run a Ferris wheel at the local carnival, much less our nation. So what did traditional America-loving voters do?  We showed up at the polls in record numbers and gave Bush the largest popular vote in U.S. history. 

That?s got to hurt the hubris of the Left. 

Think about it.

With the liberals? billions of dollars spent, all the months and years invested, all the conjured-up hatred of and hard-spun misinformation regarding Bush, with the illegitimate exit polls and the self-deceived congratulatory pats on the backs, they hoped that their amoral vision for America would be bought by the majority.  Instead, all of this has concluded with Bush stomping Kerry like a cockroach.  That?s got to leave a mark.  Yes, the cocksure Dim-o-crats? vision for America landed them not in the White House but in the Out House, where they belong. 

*  Check out Doug?s latest cartoon and his post-election interviews with Megan Fox, Jon Garthwaite and Ben Shapiro on www.clashradio.com.