Doug Giles

As a proud gun owner and hunter of everything from Texas whitetails to South African wildebeests, to me, Kerry?s anti-gun voting history and his anti-hunting backers are more scary than the 256-pound charging wild boar I shot at a mere ten feet.

In addition to the mondo problems I have with Kerry?s uberliberal senatorial voting record, his DD augmented recollections of his tour of duty in Vietnam, his ?let?s appease the terrorists? plan, his undulating Euro-booty kissing, another big reason I am decisively blowing Kerry off is because I prize the time I get to spend shooting, hunting and gun collecting.    Kerry and his supporting cast want to tread on my pursuit of cordite happiness and I don?t like it. 

Gun owners and hunters, don?t let Kerry fool you with his ?I?m a gun owner and hunter and I respect the Second Amendment? bovine scatology.  Kerry is about as pro-gun and pro-hunting as I am pro-Dixie Chicks, Michael Jackson, Cat Stevens and Hans Blix.  Have you seen any video or stills of Kerry handling a gun?  He looks about as knowledgeable, natural and comfortable with a firearm as Al Gore does trying to French kiss Tipper. 

And what about Kerry?s comments on deer and dove hunting?  Regarding deer hunting, Kerry said, ?I go out with my trusty 12 gauge double barrel.  I crawl around on my stomach.  I track and I move and decoy and play games and try to outsmart them.  You know, kind of play the wind.  That?s hunting,? (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, July 4th, 2004.)

Come on, deer hunters, you know this guy is trying to sell uncut China white smack to the brain-softened public.  Who? ? who? ... hunts deer like that?  First of all ? very few hunters use a double barrel twelve gauge to hunt deer, and I guarantee Kerry?s not one of them.  Secondly, when Kerry talks about crawling on his belly, playing the wind, decoying and trying to out smart them ? I think he is confusing what he?s done to voters during his campaign with viable tactics used for deer hunting.  Please, Kerry, toss us some intellectual respect.  Who do you think we are ? Teresa Heinz?  And while you?re at it, Senator, I, for one, need photographic, eye-witnessed and filled-deer-tag proof from you, Johnny Boy, before I will your take your tips on deer hunting. 

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.