Then we come to the Darwin Award winners for 2004, namely, Janet and Justin.
Let?s take Justin first. Justin? cut the crap on the ?I didn?t know that was going to happen? stuff. You yanked on her bra. What did you think was going to pop out? Carrot Top? Here?re a couple of tips:
1. Bear in mind your former commitment to God, and
2. Stop hanging out with anyone with the last name Jackson.
Save yourself, dude, before it?s too late and you?re forced to sing ?Bye?Bye? Bye? to your livelihood.
And last but very far from least, we come to Janet. Ahhh, Janet. Do you know that just two days before the Super Bowl?s sagging breast coming out party, I said that you were the only Jackson who wasn?t weirder than Ed Wood on smack, and now I have to rescind those comments?
Please tell us: what precisely were you thinking? After an illustrious career with some great musical accomplishments, the world is going to be left with memory burn of an under-inflated mammary with a Ninja star bolted to it.
The only way you?re going to be able to redeem yourself is to do a couple of Disney movies or join the holy order of The Sisters Who Don?t Unrest Their Breasts.
My Clash Point is this: The game itself was great, but the Super Bowl stunk on several levels. From the vulgarity, to the lack of aptitude, to the Adamic blame shifting by Central BS and MTV: never has prime time network ticked off so many people all at once.
Where is Simon Cowell when we need him to send these low talent and tasteless ?entertainers? back to selling night crawlers at Slappy?s bait shop on the Chattahoochee.
There?s actually a good side to it all. When Janet, Justin, Nelly, Kid Rock and P-whoever crossed the line, we let them know it. There still is a residual sense of good and evil in this increasingly secular society. Maybe, just maybe, as Dylan said, ?the times? they are a changin?.?
Doug Giles pastors a church in Miami and hosts two award winning radio programs. His latest book, ?Ruling in Babylon?, is available via Amazon.com. He can be reached at doug at clashradio.com, or visit the www.clashradio.com website.