Derek Hunter

Executive Order – In golf, the president gets one mulligan per hole, not per round like everyone else. This will be known as the Bill Clinton Amendment.

Executive Order – My old body man, Reggie Love, is granted his MBA so he can come back and hang out with me. So long, that is, as he hasn’t taken any economics classes yet. Can’t have him calling me out.

Executive Order – Every house is required to have a box of cake mix that can’t be used unless and until my wife accidentally utters the words “Let them eat cake.” It must be a low-fat, tasteless cake mix.

Executive Order – When I fill out brackets for the NCAA basketball tournament, that’s how the teams will finish. Period!

Executive Order – Fox News is illegal and Roger Ailes is public enemy No.1. Freedom of speech is too important to be exercised by people who disagree with me.

Executive Order – The Supreme Court is expanded from nine justices to 15 with the additional positions to be filled on a rotating basis by editorial board members of the New York Times and MSNBC hosts.

Executive Order – All copies of the movie “Fast and Furious” and all its sequels are to be destroyed. I don’t ever want to hear that phrase again.

Executive Order – The necessary funds are hereby allocated to begin adding my face to Mt. Rushmore. You know it’s going to happen. Why wait?

Executive Order – Hereafter, not only is criticizing my policies racist, but criticizing those who call criticism of my policies racist is racist. Also, criticizing this executive order is racist. This is to be enforced by the media. Wait. Scratch this one. Already happening.

These are just a few ideas that should get him through the end of the month…or at least the week. When he runs out, I’ll write more. After all, we can’t wait!

Being president is a thankless job, which to progressives means we haven’t thanked the president enough for ignoring the Constitution.  As he said when announcing his recess appointment of Richard Cordray to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), “…when Congress refuses to act, and as a result, hurts our economy and puts our people at risk, then I have an obligation as president to do what I can without them. I’ve got an obligation to act on behalf of the American people.”

That pesky oath of office aside, don’t you feel better knowing we have a president willing to overwrite our entire system of government for our own good? Sure, it’s the exact same sort of executive power grab progressive Democrats decried when a Republican was president, but a Republican isn’t president now.

Now “an obligation to act” for our own good, as he determines it, ranks right up there with “for the children” in the progressive lexicon. And who knows better what you need; a man you’ll never meet, living a life of luxury on your dime, and a faceless bureaucracy created by him and his “well intentioned” political allies, or you?

It can’t be long before the president issues an executive order declaring that, so you better just accept it now.

(If you have any suggestions for Presidential Executive Orders to help Obama save time, leave them in the comment section and I’ll forward it to the White House. Or laugh hysterically at them. Either way, it’s win-win.)


Derek Hunter

Derek Hunter is Washington, DC based writer, radio host and political strategist. You can also stalk his thoughts 140 characters at a time on Twitter.