Other possibilities included gas prices, Barney Frank’s man-boobs on the House floor (who knew there was still a way in which he hadn’t disgraced the House of Representatives?), everything that happened on MSNBC (including Meghan McCain calling Newt Gingrich’s wife a “mistress” while being the offspring of a “mistress” herself. My God, is she dumb!), President Obama’s photo-op shopping trip to a pet store with his dog to distract from the fact that he’s a horrible President, but all of these would not lead anywhere nice.
There was also the story about Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner (R-WI) saying the First Lady has a “large posterior,” but every thought I had on the topic would not have been fit to print here (but they were good, trust me). Plus, it really doesn’t take that many words to say, “She does, but he shouldn’t have said it anyway.”
I could have written about the “Occupy” mutants, one of my favorite targets, and how this “peaceful” movement set fire to their camp in Denver as police moved in to clear them out, but a post about the mass incineration of body lice that occurred isn’t really in keeping with the Christmas spirit.
Then there was the story about the “most annoying words” people use regularly. Thought about that for a minute but, like, it really wasn’t, you know, enough for a whole column. Just sayin’, I could’ve milked it, seriously, but whatever…
None of these stories would lead to a column that embraces the season. Sure, I’m a cynical person, but even cynicism should take one day off a year. My scheduled “day off” was going to be May 28th but, as luck would have it, that’s the day the “Weinergate” story broke, which made that impossible.
Guess it’s only fitting that I choose this week for that “holiday” since Anthony Weiner and his wife welcomed a little more Weiner into their lives this week with the birth of their child. Congratulations to them! May little Jordan Zain Weiner grow up in a happy, cell phone-free home.
So that’s it, I’m out of ideas. I have nothing to write about this week. Sorry about that, it happens sometimes.
On that note, I will wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Boxing Day (for you weird Canadians reading this) and end this piece.
See you next Sunday. Go about the rest of your year.