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OPINION

Lack of Thought in "Think Progress," Union Violence and One Disgustingly Fat Woman - What Could Go Wrong?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Pawlenty is out, Perry is in and Obama is...on vacation. This week was fun, and a mess. But aren’t they all? We learned President Obama is, after 2 1/2 years in office, ready to address his number 1 priority since taking office and release his Nixonian “secret plan” to deal with the jobs crisis...in September. Now THAT’S leadership! How’s that “hope and change” working out for you?

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Anyway, I write about none of these things below, so let’s get to it...

You’d Think That With “Think” In Their Name They’d Actually, You Know, Think.

Think Progress, a George Soros funded, tax-exempt shill group for the Obama Administration (I say “a” and not “the” because there are just so damn many of them) has gotten their orders - attack Rick Perry. If there’s one thing the hive-minded drone army of the flying monkey brigade does well it’s follow orders and attack. Having reality on their side is not a necessary component of a liberal attack, they just get it out there and they count on NBC News picking it up and running it without question.

A quick aside: If you think about it, it’s amazing how these disparate groups, that are non-partisan and tax-exempt, like the Center for American Progress, Media Matters, Moveon, etc., all manage to come up with, use and push the same talking points within minutes of each other. Inevitably they’re all over NBC News and spewed as if they just occurred to the hosts, one after the other, on the spot. (I use NBC News to cover NBC proper and MSNBC. They want to be thought of as individual entities to protect the remaining shred of credibility NBC News still has, but they aren’t. When personalities from the credibility lifeboat on NBC appear on or have shows on MSNBC, they are the same.) And miraculously they’re the same talking points and buzzwords the White House adopts. No coordination there... But I’m straying. End aside.

Last week Rick Perry criticized Ben Bernanke, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, for the failed QE2 program. He said, “If this guy prints more money between now and the election, I dunno what y’all would do to him in Iowa but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treasonous in my opinion.” Given the damage to the US Dollar the actions of Bernanke and the Obama Administration’s actions have already done, this statement, inartful at best, expressed the anger of many Americans who’ve seen prices of necessities rise thanks to “food inflation.” But having their orders, the flying monkeys of Think Progress snapped into action.

They posted the video with the closing line “Treason is a capital offense.” Their not-so-subtle implication was that Perry was making a death threat, or at least a threat of violence, against Bernanke. It’s so absurd on its face as to be laughable, so it was naturally parroted by left-wingers throughout the drone army.

Gawker, the pathetic left-wing site with quality just below that of your neighborhood grocery store circular, tweeted, “Rick Perry Want to Execute the Chairman of the Fed.”

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Neil Irwin, an alleged reporter for The Washington Post, tweeted, “Whatever the flaws are in U.S. monetary policy, I’m pretty sure implied threats of violence and accusations of treason won’t solve them.”

Matt Yglesias, resident blogger at Think Regress, er, Progress, urinated on the graves of everyone ever lynched when he tweeted, “Rick Perry proposes lynching Ben Bernanke.” (We’ll get back to Matt in a bit.)

Academia, never one to be outdone in the area of stupidity, had their entrants too. Nouriel Roubini, a professor at NYU, weighed in with this bit of genius, “The mind of Rick Perry (his sick words on Bernanke) is not much different from that of the Norway mass murderer. Loaded words cause violence.”

There you have it: criticizing the Chairman of the Federal Reserve is the equivalent of calling for his execution, threatening him, the lynching of black Americans and the mass murder of dozens by a lunatic leftists who idolized the Unibomber. Isn’t the new tone great?

These are people who would have to create new pejorative terms to come up with something unique to call Republicans while telling us to tone down our rhetoric. The people who carried “BUSH IS HITLER” signs for 8 years but see Nazi references in “LEAVE US ALONE” banners at Tea Party rallies. To say that they are blind to themselves is to let them off too lightly. It would be more accurate to say that they’ve never seen a reflective surface in their entire lives.

Even if that’s not true, they know what they are doing. But they don’t have to worry about it, they won’t be called out on their hypocrisy in the mainstream media. The mainstream media is too busy letting the flying monkeys do their jobs for them to actually do original reporting anymore. “Investigative” pieces now consist of left-wing opposition research spoon fed to “reporters” and regurgitated as if they dug it up themselves. They’re safe because a parasite can’t destroy its host if it hopes to survive.

Thank God for the Internet.

The “Perry wants to kill Bernanke” meme was attacked and pretty much shot down in all credible outlets, fading away as quickly as it started. But Think Progress wasn’t done.

Think Progress was soon back attacking Perry and the jobs record of Texas. Since the reality of his record wouldn’t serve their purposes, the Texas economy is booming, a new unit of measure was needed. So they made one up and called it a “REPORT.”

Forget the fact that this “report” consisted only of data compiled by a research assistant who works for, you guessed it, the Center for American Progress Action Fund.

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They created the “job creation when accounting for population growth” yardstick. What is that? It means that while a disproportionate percentage of all jobs created in the United States have been created in Texas in the last few years (40 percent), that doesn’t matter because more people are moving to the state. If that sounds stupid it’s only because it is stupid.

See, this new yardstick does not measure the number of jobs created because that would make Perry look good and go against their directive. It measures job creation relative to population growth. Since Texas is booming and most other states are sinking like a stone, a lot of people are moving to Texas to find work. In fact, people are moving to Texas faster than jobs are being created, even though jobs are being created at an astronomic rate compared to any other state. This has bumped up the unemployment rate of Texas because that’s what happens when people flood into a state.

To illustrate how stupid this unit of measure is, the healthiest state in the Union when measured with this new yardstick is Michigan. That’s right, Michigan. Now I’m originally from Michigan, and Michigan has been in a single state depression since Jennifer Granholm was elected Governor on what seemed to be a bet to see how fast should could ruin the state. To have any positively spun unit of economic measure put Michigan in first place, a state where the military could safely test nuclear weapons in its biggest city and not kill anyone because so much of it is abandoned, requires the flexibility of Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. And even he’d have a hard time bending that much.

Basically it’s this: Michigan is hemorrhaging people faster than it is losing jobs (they’re probably going to Texas), so their unemployment rate is dropping. Forget the fact that people are leaving because they’ve been unemployed for years, that doesn’t fit the narrative. I told you it was stupid.

Think Progress wants people to think things in Texas aren’t going as well as they are because of this new unit of measure they’ve cooked up. It’s bled its way into the media, but mostly NBC News, so no one has really been infected with this garbage either, thankfully.

But this is the length to which the Left-Wing Industrial Complex will go to avoid people being exposed to the destructive reality their policies cause.

As an ironic footnote, Matt Yglesias, who looks like the lovechild of Ringo Starr and a clone of Ringo Starr without the talent or hair (cheap shot but he deserves it), tweeted out this Slate story on how the unemployment rate in the construction business is falling not because of new jobs but because discouraged workers are leaving the industry. It was meant to inspire sympathy for construction workers who can’t find work, but his tweet did something else too. It exposed that the “star blogger” at Think Progress is fully aware of what their new unit of measure, their new yardstick, really measures. His tweet read, “Falling unemployment among construction workers a sign of people leaving the industry, not economic health.” That’s the exact opposite of what he and his employer want you to think of the same thing happening in Michigan relative to Texas. Come to think of it, maybe those construction workers moved to Texas to find work...

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The “Thoughts” Just Keep On Coming

If there’s one think Think Progress is good at it’s finding pubescent ideologues and giving them titles that sound respectable, coupled with responsibilities beyond their abilities. Enter Lee Fang.

Never heard of Lee Fang? Then you must not be a...person who likes embarrassingly bad political propaganda dressed up as hackery. OK, that might be a bit harsh on poor Fang, but only if you’re unfamiliar with his work. Lucky you. For a laugh check out the routine take-downs Fang suffers at the hands of RedState. They’re things of beauty.

Lee’s title is “investigative researcher and blogger” at Think Progress. If the title “investigative researcher” sounds redundant that’s only because it is. But just like people who feel the need to tell you how smart they are because their actions give the opposite impression, when you don’t have any credentials through accomplishments, throw a nebulous title on it, close your eyes and hope for the best. For Lee Fang that “best” didn’t work out too well this week.

Liberals hate Congressman Darrell Issa (R-CA). The reason they hate him is that he chairs the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, the investigative arm of the House of Representatives. He has the power to investigate things like Operation Fast and Furious, which the media isn’t, and all other manner of possible corruption perpetrated by the Obama Administration - and the Obama Administration must be protected at all costs.

Enter Fang.

In a post labeled as an “Exclusive,” Fang cracked the “Da Vinci Code” web of clues to discover an Issa staffer had changed his name a few years back and implied heavily that he did so to avoid the world discovering his past as *gasp* a vice-president of Goldman Sachs! The impression Fang would like readers to walk away with is that this man, Peter Simonyi (formerly Peter Haller), left Goldman Sachs, changed his name and went to work for Issa as part of an elaborate plan to make Goldman Sachs even richer. And Issa was in on it.

It’s a plot too dumb even for Hollywood, which means it’s perfect for Left-Wing Industrial Complex. Turns out it was even too good for Fang to check.

You see, Peter Simonyi didn’t change his name from Haller as some sort of James Bond-ian plot to go undercover as a mole for Goldman Sachs, he did it for the same reason many people change their names - to honor their heritage.

The Left-Wing site Talking Points Memo did the basic fact-checking Fang didn’t bother to do and reached out to Simonyi for comment. They discovered that Peter changed his name to honor his father, as did his sister who, unless this is truly the most elaborate plan ever hatched by human beings, also changed her name to Simonyi. Read his statement here, it involves a grandfather who died fighting fascists in 1944.

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Lee, now de-fanged, wasn’t about to let facts get in the way of a perfectly good attempted character assassination. He issued update after update, including one after his post was published saying he had reached out to Issa’s office for comment. Had Lee simply done that easy step before publishing his hit-job he could’ve avoided even more humiliation, but somethings are simply too good to bother verifying.

Five corrections later, which has to be some sort of record, a clarifying post was written for Think Progress. Fang once again saw black helicopters in the form of the Daily Caller. Issa’s old press secretary now runs PR there and the person who used to run PR there is now works in Issa’s press shop. Conspiracy! (Full disclosure - I helped found the Daily Caller.)

He accused Issa’s office and the Daily Caller of conspiring to “push back” against his original story, not seeming to notice that the facts had already done all the pushing needed. The Daily Caller, noting a complete lack of facts to the charge, adamantly objected. Think Progress had no choice to issue even more “updates” to the clarification post and crossed out the Daily Caller accusation in their piece.

It was an amazing cluster of simple, deliberate deceptions that were unravelled nearly as quickly as they were spewed. The original post required 5 “updates” and the clarification necessitated by the errors in the original post required 2 more. I don’t know exactly what an “investigative researcher” does, but I’d imagine it shouldn’t involved 7 corrections in a year, let alone a day.

Think Progress is, at least at this moment, standing by what remains of Fang’s post - which amounts to a guy changed his name and could-might-possibly be a plant for Wall Street...if you discount reality. They can because most drones will read only parts of it and some might only read the parts they like, not all the “updates” at the bottom.

The takeaway here is this: Think Progress, just like all the other Left-Wing organizations, has an agenda, and that agenda will not be deterred by facts. So whenever you see anyone on TV from Think Progress, Media Matters or any liberal activist group (a safe bet is any group with the word “Justice” in their title), they’ll usually be on MSNBC (so you might never see them), remember that the odds are pretty good that you are being lied to. That rule applies to any newspaper story that mentions those groups.

Also-Ran Stories

,p>Union No! Remember how that picture with crosshairs on it on Sarah Palin’s website caused an unstable, Bush-hating, anti-war leftists in Arizona to murder a bunch of innocent people? Remember how conservative’s words inspired a Unabomber-loving, environmentalist lunatic to murder dozens in Norway? It seems every time someone on the political right opens their mouth it puts lives at risk, according to the media anyway. It’s an easy case to make when not bound by the truth. When the dust settles and the truth is known, many times that the perpetrator is of the Left, but it doesn’t matter. It’s too late. When it’s clear the perpetrator is a liberal from the start, the media will simply ignore it. For example,
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this story of a business owner being shot because he owns a non-union shop. Have you heard of it? Nope. Hard to pin this one on conservatives so the media has to ignore it.

Unbelievably Stupid. The 10th Anniversary of the September 11th attack is fast approaching. As we ready to mark that horrible day there is simply unbelievable news out of New York - the first responder heroes aren't invited to the ceremony at the site. These are people who risked their lives to save others and simply because there are too many of them, they will be invited to a separate ceremony at a later date. Yes, family members of those we lost should be there, and they will be. But those who risked everything should be there too. This problem of a large crowd could not have snuck up on the event planners, something could have been done. But a bureaucracy can’t adapt, can’t think outside the box, it is the box. And the box doesn’t think. I hope a solution is found in time. Ground Zero is a large space that can accommodate a lot of people. All Americans were impacted in some way that day, and undoubtedly many will travel great distances to be there on the anniversary. What kind of shame will it be if those who risked their lives, faced the horror head-on to help their fellow man and now suffer adverse health effects are shown the sort of disrespect? There’s a solution somewhere...bureaucrats should be fired one at a time until one of them comes up with it.

And In The End...

There are idiots and there are idiots...then there’s this woman. Suzanne Eman is 32 years old, the mother of 2, and possibly the dumbest human being walking the face of the Earth. OK, she’s not walking, she’s rolling. What’s her goal in life? To be the fattest woman ever. She hopes to break the old record of 1,600 pounds. She’s about half way there. Eman consumes 20,000 calories per day. She told the UK Daily Mail, “I’d love to find out if it’s humanly possible to reach a ton.” I told you, she’s an idiot. She’s also single and unemployed, if you can believe that. While the story doesn’t say, I’m sure our tax dollars are paying for Shamu to achieve her dream, which must also secretly include making her children, 16 and 12, motherless by the time they’re both done with puberty. She says she feels “confident and sexy,” and that she’s “started attracting more men.” What she doesn’t mention is those men are “attracted” to her because of the force of gravity. I feel bad for her kids. Not only is their mother scaring them for life by slowly committing suicided in front of them, they’re going to face all kinds of lawsuits from the pallbearers at her funeral throwing out their backs. But seriously, it’s disgusting and her kids should be taken away from her immediately.

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If I don’t stop now I never will. One day, if I’m not careful, I’m just going to end up accidentally posting a book here. I am capable of being brief, believe it or not, but only when it’s imposed upon me.

That is all, go about your week.

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