ATMs Plus Corporate Jets Equals Skynet!
There’s a new boogeyman in town and its name is “Corporate Jet.” It’s not quite the thing of comic book villains, but it is a joke. President Obama, the comedian-in-chief, launched into a tirade against the evil corporate jet owners in his press conference Wednesday. Seems calling families making $250,000+ a year “Millionaires and Billionaires” didn’t quite have the class warfare POP Obama needed to blame for his complete failure as President, so the presumably focus group tested “corporate jet” was born in an attempt to polish his administration. The only problem is, as the old saying goes, you can’t polish a turd.
You see, corporate jet owners are ruining the country. They don’t want to give up their life of low tax luxury so their lackey Republicans in Congress are blocking “real reform” by opposing tax hikes on these evil bastards. Instead, according to the President, they want to end medical research, allow poison food on to the market, starve children and deny students access to college. Never mind the fact that if there’s poison food flooding the market it seems a little redundant to starve children and there will be no one left to go to college and, therefore, no need for new medical treatments. Aside from the general stupidity, it’s the perfect crime!
Of course this is a simplified version of what the President said, but it’s an accurate one. It was such a bad performance that MSNBC analyst Mark Halperin got suspended and was forced to apologize for giving an honest assessment of it on the air. (As an aside, note how liberals outraged by Halperin’s statement all say he shouldn’t say such things about the President, not that he’s not one. Just an observation.)
What makes the President’s deception even more humorous is, much like how the Terminator being sent back in time actually brought about the rise of Skynet (it’s in part 2), Obama himself aided the corporate/private jet industry in his failed stimulus bill. Not sure if that makes him John Connor or the Terminator (minus the love-child with the maid, obviously), but it certainly adds to the case that he’s a horrible President.