To cite another example, one woman I interviewed said that to feel loved she would like her husband to take her hands in his, look into her eyes, and ask her what is on her mind and what is going on in her life. Most men -- including this writer -- would never think of that on their own. That is why it is important for wives to tell husbands exactly what makes them feel loved. They often do not because women generally want men "to just know" without having to be told. But the vast majority of men do not "just know." We rarely have a clue. That is why women often think of their man as "clueless." But cluelessness in this area is not a male fault; it is a male trait.
When it comes to men's specific desires, they are usually too embarrassed or afraid to say. Especially when it involves sex. For years, I have been lecturing on men's sexual nature, so I feel competent to say that most men are afraid and/or embarrassed to tell their wives how important her trying to look good and having sex with him are to his feeling loved by her.
To summarize, in too many marriages, women are not telling men what they most want because of their romantic belief that he should know without her telling him. And husbands are not telling their wives what they most want because they are either embarrassed or afraid to do so.
If it is too difficult to honestly answer this question -- what one or two things do you most want me to do to make you feel loved? -- write your answer and leave it for your spouse to read. However you do it, it can profoundly improve your marriage and, therefore, your life.
Then you will both really have a happy new year.
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