David Limbaugh

 National Security: We haven't had a major terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11, but instead of giving credit to the Bush administration and our national security infrastructure for that, we must completely badmouth both and list all the things we're not doing perfectly. We'd like to bring up the one area where President Bush is most vulnerable on this: lax immigration enforcement, but heaven knows we're way worse than he could ever hope to be on this issue. And don't ask how this makes any sense at all, but if we'd just gone into Iraq with a broader coalition, the terrorists wouldn't be mad at us anymore anyway, and our national security problems from terrorists would be history.

 Education: President Bush thought he'd stolen this issue from us, but he should know better than to trust us. No matter how much money he throws at this, we'll always promise more and trash him for his inadequate commitment to the children. The commoners won't ever figure out he's spent more money on it than we did even under Clinton.

 Health Care: Clinton got elected harping on the 40,000,000 uninsured and didn't do anything about it for two full terms. We know President Bush is doing no worse than Clinton did, but saying otherwise is too great a temptation -- and political opportunity -- to pass up. And though reduced choices and market forces have contributed to the problem, we advocate, ultimately, universal health care with hardly any choices at all. Go figure.

 Iraq: Boy, have we screwed up here, and the Iraqi elections proved it. Even our lies about Bush's supposed WMD lies aren't going to work anymore. So we're going to change the subject. To prove how much we really support our troops, we're going to start demanding specific withdrawal dates. We know there's no way to square that demand with our insistence that we can't "slip out the back door, falsely declaring victory but leaving chaos." But we don't have to be consistent; we're not in power. Besides, the people aren't swift enough to pick up on our incoherence. Nor are they sharp enough to catch that while we've been pooh-poohing Bush's neoconservative fantasy that the spread of democracy can choke off terrorism at its roots, we are claiming that by intervening to "stop the genocide in Sudan," we "will enhance our national security."

 Oh, and if none of these ideas sells, we'll just continue to accuse Republicans of partisanship and extremism.


David Limbaugh

David Limbaugh, brother of radio talk-show host Rush Limbaugh, is an expert in law and politics and author of new book Crimes Against Liberty, the definitive chronicle of Barack Obama's devastating term in office so far.

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