Was it not the president's calm hand that guided a rattled nation through the shocking racial unrest in Cambridge, Mass., recently? Was it not this man whose decency enabled us to lift our collective head after the dark days of capitalist tyranny? And was it not this president who apologized to a slighted and misunderstood Muslim world (twice) for our sins?
Why should we deny that he can elevate our schoolchildren from the abyss so they finally, after decades of neglect, can learn again? And who better to dictate the lesson plan than the president's secretary of education, Arne Duncan, a man who left Chicago's school district with a meager 40 percent dropout rate?
Honestly, if I'm going to be badgered and browbeaten by the president every day, kids should suffer a bit, as well. The president has been treating the American people like schoolchildren for more than seven months -- with another "major address" on health care coming right after he talks to the kids.
When my own brood comes home next week, I'll explain that in this remarkable nation, anyone can become president -- though I hope they'll choose something more constructive -- and that daddies often hope the president fails. I even may help them with their homework:
Q: "What do you think the president wants us to do?" Nationalize health care?
Q: "Does the speech make you want to do anything?" Write a column.
Q: "Are we able to do what President Obama is asking of us?" God, I hope not.