MyPyramid.gov, it turns out, treats moms as a class of twits unable to differentiate between a vulgar leafy green vegetable and a proper cheeseburger. What would the Founders have thought of such paternalistic finger wagging and direction? ("This is Thomas Jefferson. I'm here with Pinocchio to tell you, "You could learn a lot from a dummy!")
Then there is the captivatingly useless U.S. Financial Literacy and Education Commission's Web site, Mymoney.gov. Taking fiscal guidance from a tragically inefficient and irresponsible organization that runs trillions of dollars of debt is very much like taking seriously a 1990s-era spot from Motley Crue beseeching us not to use drugs.
Now the government has set up a site to help us get through the coming depression (although, really, it's done enough). At http://www.samhsa.gov/economy, you can learn more about the possible health risks associated with an economic downturn.
Do you feel "depression"? "Anxiety"? (And, considering your 401(k), if you're not, perhaps you're a sociopath.) Are you engaging in compulsive behavior? How about "substance abuse"? (Fingers crossed; I'm only one fiscal quarter away!) Or is there "persistent" crying going on?
Hey, why not? In the eyes of Washington, we are children, after all.
If we're not, how about doing us a public service and leaving us alone?