Q. I've been doing psychotherapy over the last two years. Recently I'm noticing that I just don't freak out when we get news that would normally scare me. Normally, I'd get scared and run around trying to fix things. Is my lack of anxiety going to hurt my career?
A. No, your lack of anxiety will actually help your career.
We now have decades of research on how anxiety affects the human brain. To summarize the effect, it makes us stupid. Literally, people can have trouble reaching the part of their brain where thinking occurs when they are flooded by anxiety.
The paradox about feelings is it isn't the feelings that hurt us -- it is how we react to our feelings. For instance, if you hear you might be laid off, notice your stomach hurts, notice that you feel afraid, and then talk about your fear, your brain will settle down and you'll make smart choices. If you hear you might be laid off, and numb out or deny you are afraid, your brain becomes paralyzed and good decision making is impossible.
It is ironic that workplace mythology is that you shouldn't have any emotions if you want to be productive on the job. The reality is that if you think you shouldn't have emotions, you deny or numb them, and these same emotions then drive every choice you make.
The only way to have freedom to make good choices is to acknowledge our normal emotional reactions. You are finding out that being aware of fear makes you calm. What an unexpected outcome, eh?
You aren't going to lose your "edge," drive or motivation by not running around scared. Instead, you'll find you do less but that your actions will be strategic and targeted for the result you want.
Imagine you were trying to hit a bullseye painted somewhere on the side of a barn. Imagine that the barn was on fire and the only way to put the fire out was to hit the bullseye. You could panic and run around throwing arrows at the barn. However, if you could settle down and examine the barn, you could aim one arrow, hit the bullseye, and extinguish the fire.
Realize that by learning to make your fear an ally and not an enemy, you've dramatically increased your chances of strategic thinking in the workplace. You may do less than your coworkers but what you do will be highly effective.
You will soon also find another reward to your new relationship with your anxiety. People around you will tend to be calmer (and thus think better) because you are modeling leaning into fear rather than running away.
Good for you for learning a well-kept workplace secret, the better you can manage yourself, the more effective you'll be on the job!
The last word(s)
Q. I'm thinking of moving my office to another building in my city but concerned clients won't follow me. Do you think I should stay put?
A. No, your clients come to see you, not your office. If it's better for your business, move.