Q. I work with a coworker who thinks he's my boss. He likes to stop by my office, tell me how to do my work, and give me feedback about what I need to improve. I end up in arguments with him about how to get my work done. How do I get my bossy coworker to keep his nose out of my job?
A. You are going to make it clear to your coworker that you report to your boss not to him.
You may find it comforting to know that most of my clients have had at least one coworker who gives himself an imaginary promotion to boss. Similar to an imaginary friend, these people need no external confirmation from reality to rule their lowly coworkers from their superior cubicle.
Most of my clients have also spent way too much of their valuable time validating their coworker's power by actually arguing with him.
Every time you have an argument with your coworker about his management of you, you actually suggest he has a point. After all, if he came in and tried to talk to you about the little green men dancing around your ceiling, you wouldn't argue, you'd just figure he was crazy.
If you let too much time go by before you set limits with your coworker, other people may start to assume that he indeed is the department lead or has authority over you.
Before you are tempted to stick his busy nose in your pencil sharpener, try the following conversation at your earliest opportunity:
"Last time you stepped in my office, I remember you had some projects you wanted me to work on. I realized that I am happy to go to our boss with your recommendations but I can't work on projects unless our boss gives the green light. Do you want me to tell our boss that you want to talk to her?
When you say these words a magical event will occur. Your coworker will have to confront the reality that your boss will not enjoy or support your coworker's imaginary promotion. Suddenly your coworker will have to argue with your boss not you.
Your coworker may find it easy to be your boss in his workplace fantasy. The only downside is you get argumentative. However, being his boss's boss brings a whole new set of threatening complications ... like getting fired!
Make sure you deliver your new approach factually and neutrally. You'll find reality a powerful workplace ally when coworkers play make believe at your expense.
The last word(s)
Q. Is there any way I can guarantee I can get a job in this economy?
A. Yes, make sure you build a set of critical skills employers need and you won't worry as much about any one job.