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Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Mary Katharine Ham :: Townhall.com Columnist
Are you ready for some football?
by Mary Katharine Ham
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Where I come from, the air sweats this time of year. Sweats hard. The soft whisper that was the spring air has been hitting the weights all summer long. By late August, it’s just learned to lug its new bulk through a series of wind sprints, and it’s hurtin’ from the exertion. The result is heavy and thick. It slows the mosquitoes down, making them easily swattable out of mid-air.

That gummy, summer air is the bane of every football player who pulls on full pads and helmet for late-summer dailies or two-a-days. They stand under the sticky canopy, in line for drills, flicking mosquitoes away by the dozen, hoping the air doesn’t gum them up enough to make them similar targets for linebackers.

They ponder that thought lazily, wiping sweaty hands on slick pants until a whistle blows, and they explode off the line, grab the ball, find the hole, and beat back the air and the O-men on the strength of a summer spent on the leg press.

It’s football season, and football season requires a column on the simple greatness of football. So, without further dallying, my top football memories.

I don’t know how old I was when I learned the rules of football—my guess is just old enough to count to four downs and 10 yards. But I remember where I was. I was on the front row in the end zone of a college stadium, in the direct sun of a Georgia summer. I sat between my brothers, and all three of us sat between both of our parents, who taught us about “moving the chains,” fourth downs, and fumbles. When I sat among the sea of college students, primped and proper as Sunday morning, in strapless dresses and shirts and ties—all in school colors—I realized there was something very important about this football thing.

I remembered that stadium when I was picking colleges, and I went back to the University of Georgia because I thought four more years of SEC football would be a nice complement to my degree. One season, a lovely fall night became a whole lot lovelier when Georgia beat rival Tennessee, 21-10. It became downright legendary when half the stadium dove onto the field to celebrate the victory.

The girls hiked up skirts and dresses, leaving high-heels behind. The guys ripped slacks on the storied hedges that line the field. Only problem was, there was still 1:13 left on the clock. All right, all right, so we hadn’t beaten Tennessee in a while. Or, maybe we just wanted to rush the field twice in one game.

After college, I covered football in a very small town where I knew no one. I used to jog around the high-school football field, scouting out the local team I’d heard so much about as they slogged through evening practices. This was the kind of town where late-August evening practice draws a crowd other high schools wish for on a Friday night.

My first friends in town were the football fans I met on those summer nights. Among them was Steve Brewington, a lineman on the ’73 team who loved to tell me about the old days. He and his buddies—also class of ’73—would argue about who threw which pass and who sacked which quarterback to win which game. About a year after I met him, Steve died of heart failure just four days shy of the season opener. I sat with his family on the first Friday night game of that season. They left Steve’s seat open for him all season—end seat, top row, Section 6. There was also an empty chair by the practice field in memory of a very dedicated fan and a great friend and father.

Of course, the weather isn’t always sunny during football season. I once covered a semi-pro football game where it rained so hard that the wooden bleachers sunk noticeably into the swampy ground under just my weight, as I was the only one contractually obligated to stick around for mediocre football during a monsoon. If you’re not familiar with rural, semi-pro football, picture “The Longest Yard II: Chicken-Plant Workers vs. Cotton Mill Employees.” But they’ve got heart! A curtain of water poured over the bill of my hat, turning my notebook into yellow mush, and I left a puddle under my desk as I tried to write a football story without stats.

Then, there’s football in the snow—a phenomenon we Southern football fans don’t often get to experience. I still haven’t seen a game played live in the snow, but I did get an invitation to Pittsburgh to watch the Super Bowl this year, and I know a good football fieldtrip when I hear one. So, I went. I ended up in a Pittsburgh sports bar with a group of appropriately rowdy locals, trying to avoid decapitation-by-Terrible-Towel.

When the final whistle blew, there was about a half-inch of snow on the ground in Pittsburgh, and a light flurry falling while the whole town danced in the streets. A dozen different Steeler fight songs bounced between buildings, punctuated by car horns, all of it under an incongruously peaceful snowfall shimmering in the glow of the streetlamps. Of course, I had forgotten to take Pittsburgh’s weather into account, so I ended up dancing in my flip-flops and a long-sleeved tee-shirt. It was the coldest I’ve ever been, but I danced.

These days, I don’t get to as many football games as I used to. I don’t get the chance to travel to Georgia or spend a Friday night under the lights very often. But there is a practice field for youth football down the street from my apartment.

I walked by that field the other day and watched a tiny little linebacker—couldn’t have been more than 7—talk to his coach. All I could see of the little football player was spindly arms, legs, and torso dwarfed by a giant orange helmet. If you had set him on a desk, he could easily have been a bobble-head. The little linebacker was evidently unhappy about a sprinting drill the coach had planned.

His coach towered over him. “What’s wrong with you?”

The little linebacker was still. “What are you having an attitude about?”

The little line backer was still. “Oh, I know what you wanna do. You wanna hit somebody, don’t you? Do you wanna hit somebody!?!”

The little linebacker’s head bobbled furiously—up, down, up down, up, down—the giant helmet slipping back and forth on his toothpick neck.

Can’t wait to see that kid play someday. New memories in the making.

What are your memories? Feel free to leave them in comments or write me an e-mail and I’ll put the best ones on the Townhall Blog. Happy Football Season!

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About The Author

Mary Katharine Ham is a contributor to Townhall Magazine.

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First touchdown
Being English, American football is extremely foreign to me; I must admit, I prefer soccer (the REAL football!). Fortunately for me, I discovered the joys of football through my son, Scott.
Scott's first ever practice, at age 14, was a shock to the system - talk about 'tough love' from the burly coaches! At one point, I almost ran on the field to berate coach Rothenberger for yelling at my son! In fact, most of the boys were stunned to find themselves in a virtual boot camp - a far cry from the relative warmth of the softball field, where the kids were practically hugged by the coach after each at-bat, regardless of whether they just witnessed a home run or a strikeout.
Scott kept his head down and worked hard. At first he was very much like that bobble-head toy that Mary described. He didn't run too well and was diminutive for his age. By opening day, Scott found himself on the kick-off return team. The game was about 22 seconds old when Scott ran into an opposing player that had about a 50 pound and 12 inch advantage on him - it was like a collision between a VW Beetle and a truck on the NJ turnpike. He was helped off the field, but came on later for other challenges. Scott's first season was fairly unremarkable as sports stories go, but his end-of-season award was that of 'Most courageous player, special teams'. The awards dinner that year was the first of many '2-tissue' evenings, all in the name of this strange game that I still barely understood.
The next year was slightly better - I was there every Saturday without fail, watching Scott play (sometimes he'd get barely 5 minutes of field time), hoping he'd be safe and watching intently as his body languaget cried out 'Please put me in coach'. His football skills would take another year or two to develop, along with his physical stature, but BOY, they sure did!
You see, Scott's Mother and I are divorced - he lived with his mother and his sister. He didn't have a brother to toss the ball around with and at weekends, he and I tossed a few, but let's not forget, I am English - when has David Beckham every thrown a decent spiral???
The most (and least) I could do is be at every game, yell a lot, worry a lot, cheer a lot and be grateful for the opportunity to watch my boy find his feet, not only on the field, but off of it also.
Within a few years, Scott's hard work and commitment was rewarded by his coaches. He graduated from the periphery of the field and the team, to one of the star players. It all came together on Homecoming Day. He was playing wide receiver, he dropped a few at first, but then came THE MOMENT. The QB tossed him a bullet about 13 yards from the end zone, he pulled it into his chest, darted forward and then TOUCHDOWN!! The place went wild, everyone was yelling his name. I must have jumped up 6 feet into the air. Tears were streaming down my face - I thought of all the work, the frustration and disappointments he had gone through. The TD was his reward!
Scott went on to win more and more awards and blossomed not only as a player, but also as a student and as a young man; all thanks to that weird game called football.
My son learned a lot from the game. It gave him pleasure and a spectacular phyisique, but that's not even half of it. The game helped him develop character and integrity, it taught him the value of hard work and commitment, it gave him peer acceptance and taught him the joy of camaraderie; the game even brought him a pretty girl and just the hint of a swagger.
To paraphrase the commercial, "Football cleats, $79.99, Band Aid for foot blisters, $5.99; the joy of watching your son at play while he learns about life and all things meaningful - PRICELESS".
Thank-you Mary; thank-you football.

Now, DocNoleCat,
I didn't bring up "wide right."

Go Steelers, and We Are! Penn State!
I must agree that I love this time of year as well. Penn State just won, and the Steelers are going to open tonight! (Although this whole "Big Ben out with appendix problems" thing is a bit unnerving.)

Also, Mary Katherine, you need to at least watch a football game in the snow. The Super Bowl doesn't count, since that was in a dome. When the game itself takes place in snowy weather, it instantly becomes a classic. Case in point: the Pats/Raiders game where the snow was falling so fast that the field had an inch or two by games end - you couldn't see the hash marks on the field. You southern teams aren't quite used to that - we've beat a few of them in Heinz when they don't know how to play in the cold. ;)

I also root for my D-II alma mater, IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania in Indiana, PA). But they don't televize those ones. I still haven't been to a regular season pro game in person, though I have seen an IUP game in person.

to bsinglet
Notre Dame and USC play in Indiana in odd-numbered years and in California in even-numbered years.
T'was always thus and always shall be.

p.s. - Saturday November 25 USC-Notre Dame. Game of the year. Texas-OSU this Saturday will be good too.

I predict that responses to this column (terrific by the way) will be in the hundreds if not higher.

Ohio State-Notre Dame in the BCS bowl, Patriots over whoever in the Superbowl, Da Bearss will be mediocre, the curse of the BALTIMORE COLTS will extend another year over indy, and more and more folks will come to realize that real men play football outside. There is nothing to match the feeling of walking off a field covered with mud and blood and beer, etc, on a cold fall day.

Even if you got that way with a nice game of touch football.

No one will care.
But my favorite favorite memory is a big slow lead-blocking grunt of a fullback breaking through for a 40+ yard touchdown in high school.

I electrocuted the little free safety with a stiff-arm the 25 and walked in from the 10.

*Heisman pose*

Trojan Lore
I’m a SoCal native, so is my brother. He’s also an SC alum, but more on that later. We spent our early childhood living across the street from a former USC cheerleader, who married one of those white sweater wearing, mid-drift showing, long legged West 28th St. dancing girls. He would host outrageous parties before everyone boarded a bus for the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. At ages 9 and 7, we would watch grown men and women drink, chant, sing, dance and then pile onto a party wagon, only to eagerly await their war stories later attributing second quarter beach heads that eroded into fourth quarter slug-fests where grind iron gladiators ground it out in trenches before their inevitable victory or defeat. They were a spirited crowd who would excite whole neighborhoods every Saturday from September through November, unless the smell of Roses kept in going to Pasadena.

While I went to no less than a half dozen colleges in the greater Southern California mega-metropolis (none with football teams that attracted anything other than local athletes), my younger brother went to USC. In 1981 there was a soon to be Heisman winning running back by the name of Marcus Allen playing in the backfield of the early season AP number one ranked Trojan football team. The schedule that year had them set to play the UPI number one ranked Sooners of Oklahoma in a pre-conference show down.

Before there were mothers against dippy-dolts who don’t know how to drink and get someone else to drive, before there were perverted skeleton head Raider fans killing some Steeler football jersey wearing guy, before there was second half suspension of beer sales at PAC-10 (previously 8) games, you could bring any plastic container you wanted into the Coliseum. Whole ice chests full of “punch” were perfectly fine. Having been raised to arouse a party then go to the game to finish it, we went prepared for any Sooner or even later should they need a drink.

Six rows off the east end of the Coliseum floor, in temporary bleachers ten yards behind the end zone; we gathered the faithful under an early autumn sky and began our supplementation for an overall number one ranking. Oklahoma had a bunch of big ol’ boy defensive players. They also brought a band and a wagon, placing them to our left of this same end zone.

Undaunted, we began our charge, only to realize much sooner (yes, another quaint pun) than was comfortable how they intended to use that “Boomer” wagon. They scored first, at the other end of the field. This perilously jolted our Trojan section. We proceeded onto down more punch while watching a bunch of Okies on and off the field parade from sideline to sideline before our very eyes, with distinct sounds of their Schoonerland Band piercing our ears with each move of the chains, further accompanied by crackling shotguns blasts after touchdowns.

Troy managed to stay in the game only by being able to catch up after exploiting too many to count by half time Sooner turnovers (not to be confused with pasture pies). They were wearing crimson. We were seeing red. This went on for two more quarters.

The sun was setting into our eyes as the last quarter was ending. We couldn’t see anymore and we sure didn’t want to hear anymore of that damned Pride playing Rah, Oklahoma! It would have been our pleasure were they “sooner dead”. Mere mortal fans or lesser pedigree might have given up except there was a faint background rumble of scrimmages slowly coming our way from seventy yards out. Was it cardinal and gold, or punch and sun?

Marcus had managed to get a NCAA single game record number of first downs by this time, in what was still a loosing effort. Trojan fans were distant and worn but steadfast, only down by four points, with possession. Coach Robinson went with what had worked all day. Give it to who we were referring to by now as Marcus “First Down” Allen. WE were just repeating what the stadium announcer kept saying all game long. He took the ball and his team to the six yard line with six seconds on the clock. There would be one more play.

Twenty-six yards away from where we sat, Troy lined up, centered the ball and the entire student body went right. The give to Allen was a fake? What are you doing? A fake!? A quarterback, who hadn’t thrown for 50 yards to this point was looking for receivers in the end zone. There were none open, then or any other time that game. Realizing the play was broken, he scrambled back to our side of the field, looking to run, only to spy one lone player running away from all others. Off balance, tornado chased by big burly quarterback eating line backers, he more pushed than threw the ball into the end zone where it wobbled into the awaiting arms of Trojan lore, right before our unbelieving eyes.

The game was over. The Trojans had won. We were number one! Even if it would only last another week, we walked, amazingly at multiple levels, away that day in first place.

Years later I took the underdog to win Super Bowl XVIII and Marcus made me not nearly as happy as that September day, only a more intense fan of his, not to mention a bunch of money.

Radio Days
Football Saturday meant listening to Lyell Bremser call the Huskers play by play while we raked leaves to jump in on a crisp fall afternoon. Televised games only happened once or twice a year, and even then we turned down the TV and cranked up the radio.

We ate Thanksgiving turkey in front of the Curtis Mathes Console TV in 1971.
If you've seen Johnny Rodgers punt return in "The Game Of The Century", you've probably heard Bremser's call. He was great.

It ended with , "... He's all the way home!"

(5- 10 second pause- during which they opened the door to the booth so the folks at home could hear the crowd going wild. Then you heard the door close- a marvelous low tech way to broadcast the excitement in the stadium.)
"Holy Moley!
Man, woman and Child,
did that put 'em in the aisles!
Johnny "The Jet" Rodgers just tore 'em loose from their shoes."
What memories.

My son and Dad and I were at the Husker Spring game in April, and were exiting the multimedia Heisman Trophy room in the West part of Memorial Stadium, and who was there but Johnny the Jet himself!
He was gracious to pose for photos with us.
There are other pix taken that day here:
http://www.helmethut.com/College/Nebraska/Nebrask
aHOC.html

Note the 60,000+ crowd for a SPRING GAME!
There is no place like Nebraska.

Thanks Duke...
...for your sharp insights! It must just be heaven to be your little woman, all bare foot and pregnant, serving you and the fellas beer! What a charmed life your little lady must lead...on second thought you probably don't have a woman which is whyyou spend your time complaining about them. Hmm...just a thought.

As for football, my fondest memories are of getting together with my brother and watching the Nebraska-Oklahoma games. I used to make a trip to his house for the weekend just for that game, now with our schedules and families we can't get together as much. But we still get together to watch the games over the phone.

memories
I played football in high school and college, but the time I remember best occurred my senior year--it was a long time ago and the rules were much different in the way we were to act in school. It was against the rulles to show displays of affection and that included holding hands in the hall way.

One day, another player, the team captain, and I were standing in the hall outside of English class with our girl friends-and of course we were holding their hands. When Coach came down the hall, we immediately put our hands in our pockets.

At practice that afternoon, before calesthentics, coach called us out in front of the team. He asked Bob if he was holding hands with Linda in the Hall way, and Bob answered yes sir. Coach asked him how many fingers he had on his hands and Bob answered ten. Coach told him to run one lap for each finger after practice!

He then asked if I was holding hands with Barbara, and I responded yes Coach. He then posed the same question to me and I responded that I had eight fingers. He asked me why I had eight fingers while Bob had ten. I responded that I had eight fingers and two thumbs. Coach then told me that I could run one lap for each finger and ten laps for each thumb!!!

The best part of the whole story is the whole team stayed after practice and ran the laps with us---and we were undefeated that year and as we are preparing for our fifty year reunion of that class, I am constantly reminded of the pain I inflicted on the team

reputation?
and this one too.

ridiculous
guess it's fixed now.

Football
The dumbest piece I've ever read and then I looked at the top and saw it was written by a woman. Nuff said. We have banned women from Super Bowl Sunday, Bowl Game New Years, and any other big game. All they ever do is blah blah blah and make shitty salads. A woman cannot know what it is like to be hit and hit for a full afternoon. Period.

Listening to oldtime Giant football
Yeah we won two Super Bowls but my favorite memory is listening to the football Giants in the early 60's on the radio.We had Marty Glickman doing the play by play and Al De Rogardis doing the color.The way Glickman described the game "Giants break the huddle and come to the line.Tittle comes over the center Shofner and Thomas spread wide.Webster and Mc Elhanny in the backfield"you could just picture the game in your mind.It's a lost art and I don't know of anyone who still does it that way.God Bless you Marty and Al we miss you.!!!
P.S. Gary Thorne comes the closest to sounding like Glickman.

PS.
trevor... let it go. Your attempts to be clever are banal and vacuous. Parse those words, if you must.

Football memories...
First of all... MKH is 1) Beautiful; 2) Conservative; and 3) A Football Fan!?!?!?! Wow, someone finally hit the trifecta!

My first football memory doesn't even involve a game. When I was growing up, my dad was a Texas high school football coach, and I would tag along to practices, games, and coaching clinics. Clinics were usually in the summer, when high school coaches would travel to the big college towns to get tutored by the college coaches on the latest trends and techniques. We were in Waco, Texas, home of Baylor University, and while all the high school coaches (including dad) were surrounding the practice field watching the Baylor Bears go through drills, I snuck away to explore the bleachers. When my dad found me about a half hour later, I was sitting with my new friend, Baylor head coach Grant Teaff. Coach Teaff had found me running around the stadium, and sat with me explaining all the drills, what the players were doing, which players he thought would be good that year, and which opponents he was worried about.

Although I was not a Baylor fan in later life, I have been a college football fan since that day. And Coach Teaff gave me and my dad a memory that we still relive every fall.

Perfectly timed
Since I just had another wonderful football memory made last night.

Seminoles 13
Hurricanes 10

"God's in his heaven, all's right with the world" (for a few hours, anyway...)

Football Memories
MK, I too was at the Tennessee game. There I had the great realization that I had become old. As a 35 year old with a three year old daughter, it occured to me that you can never go back. Midway through my walk through beautiful Athens, I found myself no longer saying "I wish I were 18 again". Instead, I found myself saying " My daughter will never wear that!". I guess there are worse places to realize that you youth has passed you by. By the way, the really old fans were mad at you guys for tearing up the hedges!

USC Football
Fall 1975, dating a USC sophomore I spent every Satuday USC home game in the Colliseum. We sat behind the USC marching band, listening to their antics and during half-time flipping cards. The most memorable game for me that fall was the big rivalry game between Notre Dame and USC. The first half was horrible, USC didn't score at all and Notre Dame contolled the field. We were dejected at the beginning of 3rd quarter. Notre Dame had the kick off and the atmosphere became electric. Anthony Davis caught the ball on the 90 yard line and ran through all blockers to score a touchdown. All the fans were on their feet and didn't sit down through 2 more touchdowns back to back scored by Anthony Davis. The rest of the game was just as exciting and we heard the USC fight song non-stop to the end.

As an adult and a Mom, my second son lived and breathed football from age 13 - 20. I loved the Friday Nights in the High School stadium and my 9 year old daughter still wants to go to the games, even though he is no longer playing. Football rocks!!!

FAMILY BONDING
Fourty years ago I watched as Bart Starr dive across the goal line giving the Green Bay Packers a 21-17 win over Dallas in the famous "Ice-Bowl." I stood up and cheered with my dad and brother: Touchdown! They were my dad's favorite team, so, at age seven, they became mine.

Following the Packers, through thick and thin, was a family event. I am sure most of you have had the same feelings with their families and teams.

Even though my opinion of the now arrogant, boring and elite NFL has certainly changed since then, (College Football is so much better!) I still root for Green Bay with fondness and family pride!

WAR EAGLE
ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOOTBALL MOMENTS
WAS " PUNT BEAR ,PUNT ".
NUFF SAID.

WAR EAGLE
ONE OF MANY FAVORITE FOOTBALL MOMENTS
WAS " PUNT BEAR,PUNT " .
NUFF SAID .

Um, Thanks Trevor
I'm looking into this for you. For the record, you could have just stated the case and said that the system allows various other dirty words without actually adding them to your comment. The "ridicu_lous" banning is being fixed as we speak. As you can see, juding by your posting, we have gone to some lengths to make sure people can use common words that might include cuss words. I hope you'll give us some credit for that instead of continuing to make your point with a potty mouth. But thank you for bringing it to our attention.

Humid air and fresh cut grass
It's awfully hot and humid in much of the country in late August, so you description of the air resonates with us Yankees as well.

By high school I played football (with devotion yet decidely lackluster resultes) since second grade. My small town was a "Friday Night Lights" place or perhaps akin to the locale of "All the Right Moves." Mostly, if you could walk and chew gum, you played.

I had my "one shining moment" (as they say in NCAA basketball promos) and on a perfect cool and clear October night, I watched a punt sail through a navy blue sky. No one blocked me. Time slowed down, I saw the laces on the ball, the dilation of the receiver's pupils. Whatever move he made I mirrored and hit him as the ball arrived, full speed, just right, just like a thousand practice hits. The ball squirted out and lay before me, brown and white on deepest green late Fall grass, glowing in the blaze of the lights. I scooped up the ball and saw the goal posts...but the a piercing whistle burst the moment as I learned what I already knew--you can't advance a muffed punt.

Was one good play circa 1979 worth ten Augusts of pain? Absolutely.

Super Bowl from Germany
I grew up an Air Force brat and a huge 49er fan (please keep your comments about their current state [unless its to talk about how bad John York is] to yourself), so when I was 9 years old and we were living in Germany, I had to watch Super Bowl XXIV! I remember that there were 20-30 of us (Air Force personnel and family) gathered together in one hospitable home at about 12:00am for kick-off. It was freezing cold outside, with snow on the ground and I even remember that the clouds obscured the moon, making it extra dark. I doubt that any of the Germans that we passed that night understood the significance of the day for us American Football fans. But, for me, it was exciting enough to keep me awake and alert throughout the night. I enjoyed every moment of the 55-10 win and can still see in my mind's eye Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Ronnie Lott, and Roger Craig playing their hearts out.

Go Niners!

I am ready for some football!
I am so excited for this season to begin. (A little nervous too!) I can't wait to go to Tiger stadium to see the Tigers. I get chills down my spine when the Tiger band steps onto that field and begins the first strands of the Tiger song!

Of course, when I tune into ESPN and they COMPLETELY blow off the SEC I kinda get my feathers ruffled. No matter, I know that any of the "great" teams of teams ESPN applauds (USC, Texas, Miami, Okalahoma, Notre Dame, etc) could never last in the SEC because if LSU can't beat them, then Georgia can, Tennessee can, Auburn can, or Florida can. If that isn't good enough, then look out for Alabama, Arkansas, Ole Miss or Mississipi state because you never know when one of them will jump up and bite your . . .toes!

Bottom line: The SEC is the toughest conference in the league and they never get the credit for it.

Fran was the man !
As a Boston Red Sox baseball fan ( save the wisecracks ) I am more than ready for some football! I grew up in northern Maine where it was too frosty for football--instead we picked potatoes, shoveled snow and shivered. Years later, my Sunday routine was church, chicken and channel changing to find a Sunday aternoon movie. In the fall, football replaced the movie and one Sunday I caught Fran Tarkington, small and agile, running for daylight and his life! A few weeks later there he was again and I was fascinated! Then I discovered New England had a team ( well, sort of ) and I was hooked! Go Pats!

Football Anticipation
I'm a father of four sons three of which are or did play football from "PeeWees" through HS. My last son (Zach)is 12 years younger than the 1st "baby boy" (now a Senior defensive end on the HS team) and has literally grown up at the ballfield. He's now 5 years old and loves football. He and I rode by the PeeWee practice where my brother and nephew were begining practice with thier team of 8&9 year olds. We were watching when Zach said he wanted play. I told him he wasn't "big" enough. He quickly pointed out an undersized kid and said I'm as big as him. So I told him that wasn't really what i meant that he wasn't old enough. Well as anyone with an inquisitive 5 year old can tell you that answer didn't wash with Zach. So I finally told him that that was the rules and I couldn't do anything about it. So he asked who made the rule. I replied Coach "C". Zach ask who's that. Coach "C" is legendary in these parts having established and run the Rec. Dept. for over 40 years. He coach myself, brothers, and everbody else in town. As fate would have it he was walking across the field some 75 yards away. Looking to get myself out of a bind and have some good natured fun at Coaches' expense, I told Zach that he was the man in the white hat and if he said Zach could play it would be fine with me and I'd sign him up. (Coach filled me in the next day at the varsity game on the conversation)Well Zach took off running as hard as he could go across the field to talk to Coach. He came back and told me that Coach said he could play. I told him that I didn't think Coach understood what he was talking about and to go back and ask him again. On his second return Zach walked dejectedly back and said he couldn't play. I ran into coach at the varsity game the following night and asked him what he had told Zach about playing football. After a moment he realized what I was talking about and said he should have recognized Zach. Anyway, when Zach ran up he said to coach "Can I play?" to which coach replied "Yes marbles" to which Zach replied "go get them then". That's when Zach ran back to me saying "he could play". When I sent Zach back to coach he said " I'm not talking about marbles I want to play football" Coach asked how old he was and told him to have his daddy come back and sign him up in three years when he turned 8 and he could play. As Zach walked off Coach turned to one of the volunteers standing near by and said "if I was you I'd find out that boys name and make him my 1st draft choice in three years." As you can tell I'm waiting with great anticipation for these three years to pass so I can sign Zach up and start football again.
BallDad

Favorite football memories . . .
Being a graduate of West Virginia U., I won't go on and on about the Sugar Bowl. After all, this is Mary Katharine's column, and it would not be neighborly of me to even mention the Mountaineers' near-rout of her beloved Bulldogs. Besides, it is obvious that UGa would have completed their comeback and won the game, if only the game was longer than 60 little minutes. But, them's the rules, as they say. And it might have helped if the Dawgs had shown up for the first quarter while the Mountaineers were running wild and their D was constantly tackling for losses. And to think that it was all underclassmen out there for the Blue and Gold, handing the Dawgs their own heads on a plate.

No, I'm not even going to mention that Sugar Bowl. No reason to try to make the faces of the Dawgs as red as their jerseys. Again. Plus, it isn't my favorite football memory.

My tuly favorite football memory comes from the NFL. It was 1996, and my hometown, Charlotte, was abuzz with the success of our Panthers. In just their second season, they would not only make the playoffs, they would advance to the NFC championship, losing to the Packers (who were on their way to another world championship). Anyway, the Panthers earned a first-round bye in the playoffs that year. On that off-Sunday, a local department store had an appearance by Wesley Walls, the Panthers' tight end, and probably their biggest offensive star for that season. The event included Sir Purr, the Panthers' mascott (and a real fav of my 3 daughters, aged 6, 3, and 6 months at the time). I dressed the girls in their best Panters gear, and took them off to the mall.

We were first in line for the autograph table. Wesley, a family man, was so nice and gracious to the girls. And I got a hug from Sir Purr (for reasons I'm not allowed to say). We had a great time, but the best was yet to come.

One week later, we were in front of the Tube, watching the Panthers' first playoff game against Dallas. Late in first quarter, Kerry Collins connected with #85 in the end zone to give Carolina the lead it would not relinquish. My 6-year-old was perched on my lap. I started bouncing her and pointing at the screen, "Look, Caroline! That's Mr. Walls, the player you met at Belk's last week! He just scored a touchdown!"

Well, to be honest, Caroline couldn't give a rat's rear end about any of that. But it did impress my wife, who really cares nothing at all about football. So, at least one person shared that excitement with me.

And the story made for a great laugh a few months later when I told it at a charity dinner I attended for the Children's Miracle Network. The person laughing the hardest? Wesley Walls, who even remembered me and the girls from the autograph table.

My daughters may never remember any of this, but I will never forget.

Seahawks Football
I absolutely enjoy watching Seattle Seahawks football with my family. Nothing like "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job" after every Seahawks field goal and PAT (Brownie as in Josh Brown) and Shaun Alexander's rushing TD records!

Oh and can't wait for kickoff. Got my Seahawks hat on!

Ain't it great
that the season has begun again. The boasts, the office pools, the team loyalties, the cooler weather coming, getting to watch Auburn beat Georgia (sorry, Mary Katherine, but when I was transferred to Alabama I wasn't allowed to remain SEC neutral), hopes hanging on every play of Penn State versus whomever. I'm ready for some football.

So I'm going to close with War Eagle and We Are Penn State. And let's go Birds!

Well, besides
watching Dolphin games in the old Orange Bowl, my favorite football memory actually took place after the game. A bunch of us had gone to see our high school team play (we won - yippee!). We were in two cars and had stopped at a Dairy Queen. Being high school kids, we had cars that didn't have AC's (not ones that worked anyway), even though this was Miami in all of its glorious heat. Point is, the window were down. We were zipping along when all of a sudden, one of the guys in our car got hit in the cheek by an ice cube. One of our buds in the other car was whipping them at us. No one in our car had a soda, and, hence, no ice cubes with which to retaliate. So, I handed my half-drunk vanilla shake to the driver, who promptly hurled it without looking. The shake hit the ice hurler in the shoulder and went somersaulting through their car, spraying cold vanilla everwhere. We sped off celebrating our victory. It was then that I learned that disproportionate force is a good thing.
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