Since the New York Times and Wall Street Journal broke the news about the admission of Taliban official Sayeed Rahmatullah Hashemi to a special student program at Yale, we’ve received numerous emails from outraged Yale Alumni. One email stood out from the rest — "I won’t give Yale one red cent this year, but maybe I will give them a red fingernail instead!"
She was referring to the Taliban’s policy of pulling the fingernails off of Afghani women who dared to wear fingernail polish. Some of these women even had their thumbs sliced off as punishment. To date, Mr. Rahmatullah has not apologized or taken responsibility for his support of this brutal regime, though he told the Times he wished he’d been "a little bit softer" in his advocacy.
If you’d like to show your outrage at Yale’s decision to admit the Taliban’s spokeman, join us in "giving Yale the finger." It would be disgusting– not to mention really painful — to mail your own fingernails, but you can buy glamorous, decadent, shameless-hussy-scarlet press-on nails (ask for "nail tips") from any drug store or beauty shop. They’re cheap; a box costs about $5.00. (Caution to Harvard-educated readers: do not eat the press-on nails. Sure, they look tasty, but they will make you sick.)
Send them to Yale’s Office of Development, along with a polite (or not-so-polite) letter explaining what you think of their decision to admit Rahmatullah:
Office of Development
P.O. Box 2038
New Haven, CT 06521-2038
What’s more, you can also send a nice red fake nail or ten to Yale’s President, Richard Levin, at:
President Richard C. Levin
New Haven Connecticut 06520
If you do have some connection with Yale, please tell them so in your letter and explain that you are withholding your donations until they end the disgrace of allowing America’s unrepentant enemy an opportunity which thousands of smart, deserving kids in Afghanistan, America or anywhere, who have been studying diligently instead of shilling for a brutal regime of retrograde, misogynist, terrorist-abetting, drug-running, Buddha-blasting, gay-murdering, freedom-hating tyrants, never received.
Feel free to point out the hyprocrisy of Yale’s decision to admit Sayeed Rahmatullah Hashemi, who supported a regime that killed homosexuals, stoned women, tortured/killed many, and destroyed Buddhas, even though Yale keeps ROTC off campus and files briefs with the Supreme Court protesting the military’s right to recruit on campus.
Most importantly, send your money somewhere else. While Yale made a choice to embrace an unapologetic supporter of a regime which oppressed women and sheltered Osama bin Laden, we prefer to aid organizations that support the troops who defeated that barbarous regime. Here are some of our favorites:
- Children of Fallen Soldiers Relief Fund: provides college grants and financial assistance to surviving children and spouses of U.S. military service members who lost their lives in Iraq and Afghanistan.
- Operation Hero Miles: allows you to donate your unused airline miles so troops/family members can fly for free.
- Valour-it: provides wounded soldiers with voice-activated laptops while they are hospitalized.
- The Fisher House: a home for the families of seriously ill or injured soldiers receiving treatment .
- Or for those of you of a feminist inclination, consider the Fern L. Holland Charitable Trust.
Whatever you do, let us hear about it at email@example.com. We’ll try to collect the best responses for a future column.
In the long term, all college alumni need to think carefully about the board of trustees at their college and the values they espouse. Are they likely to recruit a Taliban leader while treating ROTC cadets like second class citizens? With the backlash the decision to bring Mr. Rahmatullah to campus is producing, Yale’s board is ripe for a change. Let’s hope such a change occurs before they rewrite the old Yale songs for good.
A note to liberal readers: participation in this campaign does not make you a Republican. This isn’t a referendum on the war or an endorsement of George Bush. It ought not to be a partisan issue. This is a condemnation of the barbaric Taliban and of Yale’s hearty welcome for their evangelist. So join us in "nailing Yale," and let’s make Mr. Rahmatullah feel as welcome at Yale as a Jewish transvestite lingerie salesman would feel in the Taliban-era Kandahar that Sayeed Rahmatullah Hashemi is so gosh-darn proud of.