Chris Robling
It was a goofy, vacuous speech that capped a goofy, vacuous gathering.

Twenty three million of us are unemployed. That just did not make the cut of points to make in the talk of a Democrat President of the United States.

One recalls that on the evening of March 4, 1933, his first night in the White House as president, FDR famously asked, "Last night, in this place, what was Mr. Hoover thinking about the unemployed?"

If at that lectern in Charlotte Thursday night President Obama thought about the unemployed, he surely did not speak of them. In fact, he spoke of very little. Certainly not the precise and specific promises made in Denver four short years ago. Happily promising "600,000" new of this or "100,000" new of that, our president had so little to say that was substantive it is sad for him and deeply sobering for us.

Sadder still is the crew in the hall, whose real "God" is government, whose liturgy is celebration of compelled collective action, whose high priests are officeholders like Presidents Obama and Clinton, whose hands twist the knobs of power always to "MORE," and whose sacrament is rectification of perceived societal slights and oversights. Ugh--they've lost society's thread to overcome personal victimization. The Great Democrats of my parents' party have shrunk to aggressive puny-ism. We are headed to a bankruptcy -- that fact also failed to fit into the President's second term template -- and the Charlotteians celebrate a successful 30-year old who wanted her university (which happens to be mine, but more importantly, was that of the late beloved Henry Hyde) to pay for her personal products. George Soros buys a state election officer in Minnesota, and the party adopts Stuart Smalley as its archetype. I'll take the Mysterious Stranger who talks to empty chairs any time.

The Charlotteians booked a football stadium, and retreated to a basketball court, afraid of a 20 percent chance of rain and a five percent chance of lightning. The extra thousands who lost their seats got a conference call. I rest easy that these folks will stand up to a nuclear-equipped Ahmadinejad.

Disturbingly, Ahmadinejad says he wants to obliterate Jerusalem. Charlotteians simply erased it. God got the same treatment. But, they cannot determine who did the erasing. When noticed, they loudly noted their opposition to both God and Jerusalem. Then others, taught by Nancy 'We must pass it so you can find out what's in it, you moronic cretins' Pelosi, shoved God and Jerusalem back into their scripture.

"Thanks for that," a ruffled and tussled God is understood to have said, speaking from Jerusalem.

They choose as their chair the chief of a bankrupt city, they lie about comments clearly recorded on tape, they melt down at the lectern, they bully journalists who ask simple and direct questions about their platform, and they say of their opponent, "if i see him i would like to kill him" (New York State delegate Julia Rodriguez, the U.S. Secret Service is investigating).

I will give them this -- their merchandise table was so well stocked it caused major "objective" journalists, straight from the mainstream, to leap like spawn-crazy salmon over their professional status and use false names to buy must-have commemorative tote bags and coffee mugs. Capitalism and acquisitive consumerism in action, I guess. Others might see it as money-changers in the temple -- which was in Jerusalem, by the way.

The newest unemployment rate (8.1%, above 8% for the longest stretch since Hoover -- err, FDR) says more of this president in two digits and a decimal point than he could have said in two hours. For sheer entertainment value, I would prefer the Al Franken of "Saturday Night Live" in his Stuart Smalley character, interviewing Clint Eastwood about how Clint's archetype deals with slights, I hear they make his day.

As an Illinoisan and an Illinois Republican, I also assert my right to observe that the mess in Charlotte was begot by the mess in City Hall, without which Community Organizer Obama would never have left the presidential launch pad. City Hall of course was begot by the mess in Springfield, which was begot by Mike Madigan. Madigan is the problem, he needs to be fired -- NOT killed, Julia.

God help us if they stay in power, God help Mitt Romney stop them from doing so. I'll do my part and you ought to do yours, because we are the only grown-ups in sight, and because, as Noted Janesville Grown-Up Paul Ryan has said, "We can do this."

Fact is, we must.


Chris Robling

Chris Robling has been the WGN-TV Chicago Morning News Republican analyst since 2004.