Chris Robling

They choose as their chair the chief of a bankrupt city, they lie about comments clearly recorded on tape, they melt down at the lectern, they bully journalists who ask simple and direct questions about their platform, and they say of their opponent, "if i see him i would like to kill him" (New York State delegate Julia Rodriguez, the U.S. Secret Service is investigating).

I will give them this -- their merchandise table was so well stocked it caused major "objective" journalists, straight from the mainstream, to leap like spawn-crazy salmon over their professional status and use false names to buy must-have commemorative tote bags and coffee mugs. Capitalism and acquisitive consumerism in action, I guess. Others might see it as money-changers in the temple -- which was in Jerusalem, by the way.

The newest unemployment rate (8.1%, above 8% for the longest stretch since Hoover -- err, FDR) says more of this president in two digits and a decimal point than he could have said in two hours. For sheer entertainment value, I would prefer the Al Franken of "Saturday Night Live" in his Stuart Smalley character, interviewing Clint Eastwood about how Clint's archetype deals with slights, I hear they make his day.

As an Illinoisan and an Illinois Republican, I also assert my right to observe that the mess in Charlotte was begot by the mess in City Hall, without which Community Organizer Obama would never have left the presidential launch pad. City Hall of course was begot by the mess in Springfield, which was begot by Mike Madigan. Madigan is the problem, he needs to be fired -- NOT killed, Julia.

God help us if they stay in power, God help Mitt Romney stop them from doing so. I'll do my part and you ought to do yours, because we are the only grown-ups in sight, and because, as Noted Janesville Grown-Up Paul Ryan has said, "We can do this."

Fact is, we must.

Chris Robling

Chris Robling has been the WGN-TV Chicago Morning News Republican analyst since 2004.