Burt Prelutsky

There are times, I must confess, when I consider our current culture and conclude that the Muslims are right about us. We are, as they insist, hedonistic, and far too many of us do have the morals of goats. We do rely on sex and violence for our entertainment. Our popular music is swinish. We are, by a wide margin, the world’s largest market for drugs, both of the legal and illegal variety. Our politicians are selfish, ignorant and, more often than not, at odds with the American ideals of the Founding Fathers. Leaders of both major parties are wont to turn a blind eye to foreigners who ignore our sovereignty for no other reason than that they hope to garner Latino votes in future elections. Worst of all, they regularly engage in race and class warfare out of strictly partisan motives.

We elect a new president who, for all we know, doesn’t even meet the few Constitutional qualifications of the office. We stand idly by while he bankrupts us and future generations, nationalizes major industries, and nominates a person for the Supreme Court who has gone on the record stating that the judicial branch of government creates policy and that her race and gender automatically makes her a better judge than most other Americans. “Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!” would apparently be Judge Sotomayor’s response to Martin Luther King’s fervent wish that Americans be judged by our character, not our color.

All of that being said, we are still better than Islamics. Our women have the same rights and privileges as men, even if they tend to use them as unwisely as men. We do not stone adulterers. We do not kill Christians and Jews, but when, occasionally, one of us does, he doesn’t get to justify it by saying he was just doing God’s work.

We do not blow ourselves up in our insane desire to kill other people who don’t happen to do their praying in mosques. We do not call suicide bombers martyrs and send $25,000 checks to their mothers; instead, we call them lunatics and villains, and we send their mothers our condolences.

When I ask people why they are still enraptured with Obama, even though he has continued many of the Bush policies they once claimed they despised, when he has printed and spent money like a counterfeiter gone amok, and when his promise of governmental transparency has turned out to be a big, fat lie, they simply repeat the mantra that he’s better than Bush. They remind me of two kinds of mothers. The first kind is the mother of a young hoodlum with a rap sheet longer than War and Peace, who tends to say that her angelic offspring merely got involved with a bad crowd; overlooking the fact that all the other mothers are making the exact same claim while glowering at her son. The second kind of mother is the one with a normal kid, who never stops boasting about how smart, how honest and how handsome, her son is, even though the rest of us, who didn’t happen to carry him for nine months, find nothing the slightest bit special about him. In fact, behind her back, we are likely to observe that if you looked up “average” or even “mediocre” in the dictionary, you’d very likely find his picture.

This isn’t to suggest that the mothers of either young man are lying. It’s a matter of perception. They just happen to have an emotional investment that blinds them to the objective truth. I’m afraid that’s the way it is with those liberals who’ll go to their graves defending Obama as if he were their first born.

Speaking of Obama, lately I’ve been thinking about the different ways he has reacted to the nuclear threat posed by North Korea and Iran. The notion that Kim Jung Il has a nuclear bomb turns him into a nervous Nellie, but he is apparently quite sanguine about the same weapon in the hands of Ahmadinejad and the mullahs.

I find that very peculiar because even if Obama isn’t as concerned about Israel as he is about Japan and South Korea, if Iran nukes Israel, it’s not just five million Jews who’d be incinerated. It would also wipe out two million Arabs residing there, with the nuclear fallout killing God only knows how many people in Gaza, Lebanon, Syria, Egypt and Jordan. Is there anyone, aside from possibly Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, who really thinks that would make the Iranians hesitate for even a nano-second from carrying out the annihilation of the Jewish nation?

Allah should be alerted, though, because even if no more than, say, four million male Muslims were to bite the nuclear dust, he would be expected to immediately provide those Paradise-bound martyrs with at least 280 million virgins. Good luck filling that order!