Burt Prelutsky

Sometimes I wonder if we wouldn’t have been better off in the long run if we had remained an English colony. After all, for all the rotten stuff that the Europeans did in Africa, it seems to me they did a better job of educating the people and utilizing the natural resources than the native leaders have done since gaining independence. I’m sure that will be construed as a racist statement, but I’ll stick to it until someone shows me how Africans were worse off under the English, French, German, Spanish, Dutch and Portuguese, than they’ve been under the various black tyrants who have turned the continent into one huge cesspool of ignorance, poverty, slavery and all-around barbarism.

Lest you think I only have it in for black leaders in the U.S. and abroad, let me hasten to say that California, where the majority of leading villains are Caucasians, is hardly heaven on earth. The entire state is one huge asylum, and the inmates running the place are named Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Jerry Brown, Henry Waxman, Gavin Newsome and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Although it appeared six years ago that Schwarzenegger would be a big improvement over Gray Davis, it turned out he only had bigger muscles. But, then, so does Barbara Boxer. The fact is we’d have been better off electing Mrs. Schwarzenegger. At least with Maria Shriver running things, we’d have been spared all these years of having to listen to her hubby’s annoying voice.

As most of you probably know, Herr Schwarzenegger and his liberal chums in the state legislature recently hiked state and sales taxes to record heights because they had run up huge deficits in recent years. Things got so bad, the lawmakers announced at one point they were going to fire nonessential state employees. Nobody seemed to wonder why, if they were nonessential, we taxpayers had been paying their salaries for, lo, these many years.

In conclusion, it occurs to me that termites and bees do a far better job of selecting their queens than we humans do electing our leaders.