Burt Prelutsky

Here in California, we have an allegedly Republican governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who, after the voters for the second time voted against same-sex marriages, announced he wanted the courts to once again overturn the will of the people. To account for this, one either has to assume that his wife, Maria Shriver, has hypnotized him, that the use of steroids shrinks the brain as well as the gonads, or that Arnold spent far too many of his impressionable years in the showers at Gold’s Gym.

Liberal majorities in Congress were bad enough, but with a radical leftist in the White House, one can imagine the judges who will be appointed to lifetime sinecures on the Supreme Court and the various courts of appeal. You think Stevens, Ginsburg and Souter are bad? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I have liberal friends -- mea culpa! -- who are euphoric because they’re convinced that, thanks to Obama, the world will now love America. For all my badgering, they refuse to cough up the names of those countries that were ready to divorce us, but are now eager to rush off on a second honeymoon. I do find it fascinating, though, that while we’ve now elected a Socialist, many of the European nations, having learned their lessons the hard way, have begun electing conservative leaders.

How long, I wonder, will it be before the Democrats turn Charles Schumer’s wet dream, otherwise known as the Fairness Doctrine, into a 1st amendment-shredding reality? And how long until Obama carries through on his promise to fund the U.N.’s campaign to end global poverty to the tune of a trillion dollars?

For the longest time, I had heard that in America anyone could grow up to be president. Now, when I consider Obama’s background, his friends and associates, and his views about wealth distribution, I can see they weren’t kidding. They meant absolutely anyone.

Years ago, I suggested that any man or woman who was convinced he or she should be president was clearly insane. For that reason, and because I was already fed up with all the lawyers being elected, my solution was to draw a name out of a hat. I was convinced there was a better chance of winding up with a sane, decent, honest guy in office if it turned out to be my next door neighbor or the lady who lives around the corner from you. Clearly, voting is one area where practice doesn’t make perfect. Holding elective office is another.

At this point, if I can’t have my lottery, I’d settle for two things. One, I’d limit voting to those people who pay income or property taxes. It’s just absurd that millions of Americans who have never held down a job or served in the military and are still receiving an allowance from their folks can cancel out the votes of their parents. Two, I’d make term limits mandatory for every elected office in America, and I’m talking about single terms. No more lifetime careers in politics. If you want to get rich, back off from the public trough and get an honest job.

Frankly, I don’t know if we could actually get by without politicians, but wouldn’t it be fun to try?