Burt Prelutsky

Even if you overlook their hatred of President Bush who, for all his various failings, received 55 million votes in 2004, and their disdain of the U.S. military during a time of war, there’s the matter of their taking Al Gore’s global warming warning to their collective bosoms. Now, it’s one thing for me, a devout non-believer to pooh-pooh the threat to polar bears and to go on my merry way. But wouldn’t you think that someone who regarded Mr. Gore as the new messiah would question his sincerity when he gads about in private jets and lives in a mansion? I think you would if you yourself were the least bit sincere, and not just another derriere-kissing sycophant. But when like George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio, you also spend half your life in Lear jets and limos, and live in a series of homes the size of castles, the deal is that nobody ever asks an embarrassing question or points out an obvious truth. Instead, you hold banquets and present one another with awards that contain the word “environment.”

The plain truth is that if guys like DiCaprio, Clooney and Robert Redford, were women, they’d be called bimbos.