Burt Prelutsky

Recently, having to kill some time between appointments, I stopped at a Starbuck’s. Frankly, I was shocked at the prices they were asking for what is essentially colored water. I ordered either a grande, a gargantuan or a humongous, but it was, needless to say, the smallest size they had. Still, I got very little change for my five dollar bill.

In fact, I think the only way they could possibly charge more is if coffee were made illegal just like all those other illicit drugs. At which point, I suppose the Afghani farmers could stop growing those darn poppies, the Colombian drug cartels could switch from heroin to decaf, and I could finally get my wife into rehab.