Burt Prelutsky

And let us not forget the brouhaha over same-sex marriage. For thousands of years, everyone understood that marriage was the union of a man and a woman. Over night, lesbians and homosexuals decided that they were an oppressed minority simply because they weren’t being allowed to get married. When heterosexuals suggested they settle for civil unions, they got terribly upset, as did divorce attorneys, for that matter. Encouraged by a handful of morons -- notably the members of the Massachusetts Supreme Court and the mayor of San Francisco -- they became positively livid, insisting that anyone who didn’t agree to turn marriage on its head was being divisive, not to mention that good old standby, homophobic.

Well, the way I look at it, if you don’t agree 100% with everything I’ve just written, you are not only wrong, you’re divisive!