Burt Prelutsky

Like all of my conservative colleagues, I have often taken up a cudgel or even an axe in the ongoing battle with liberals, leftists, Socialists, progressives, Maoists, Castroites, Communists, and all the other whack-jobs on the wrong side of history.

Some of the issues that we on the right usually agree about involve affirmative action, taxes, capital punishment, bilingual education, welfare, illegal aliens, the military, the Constitution, and the belief that logic and commonsense should always trump emotion when it comes to making national policy.

These days, I’d say that the major issue over which conservatives are most likely to part company involves Iraq. But even those who happen to agree about timelines with the likes of Pelosi, Murtha and the other Neville Chamberlain wannabes, generally acknowledge, unlike the Democrats, that a state of war actually exists between Islamists and modern civilization.

There is one issue, however, of some importance about which nobody else seems even slightly concerned. And, no, I am not referring to my book sales, but, rather, to the cost of what is amusingly referred to as higher education. Higher than what, you well might ask, considering that a good number of college graduates can not do simple math or write a coherent sentence, and would be better served if they repeated the eighth grade. Still, countless American families are mortgaging their homes and future solvency so that their kids can attend college.

Frankly, I’m not certain just when it became so darn imperative for every 18-year-old to traipse off to some ivy-walled ivory tower. I understand colleges and universities serving as trade schools for such occupations as engineering, physics, architecture and medicine. But why are all those other people hanging around, wasting their parents’ hard-earned cash? It can’t merely be to fill the stands at football and basketball games, but perhaps the answer really is as simple as that.

I mean, really, what is there about being a grade school teacher, a social worker or a professor of English literature, for that matter, that requires spending upwards of four years killing time among the groves of academe?