Burt Prelutsky

I hate to say it, but sometimes Republican politicians don't seem overly bright. As you're all very much aware, the Democrats in Washington are making political hay out of the fact that Bush and Gonzales fired eight U.S. attorneys, and then, for no good reason, lied about their motives. All they should have done was to point out that hiring and firing these people are the sole concern of the president, and that when Bill Clinton took up residence in the White House, one of the first things he and Janet Reno did was to fire every single U.S. attorney.

Being a U.S. attorney is not the same as being a Supreme Court justice. It's not a lifetime career. You want security? Get a job at the Post Office. But of course when Clinton lowered the boom on all those lawyers who'd been appointed by Reagan and Bush I, neither the media nor the GOP raised a stink about it. Now, maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but I choose to believe that any time a lawyer gets fired, an angel gets his wings.

Lately, the Democrats in the House and Senate have been trying to pass bills that would set a date for our withdrawal from Iraq. And, frankly, I'm delighted. Not because I agree with them, you understand, but because it allows them to show their true colors. Or, in this case, color…yellow. It truly is a timetable to surrender. It goes to prove how silly people are who insist that there's really no difference between Democrats and Republicans. Liberals would prefer to see America lose in Iraq and to see Iraq fall prey to the terrorists than to see George Bush in a position to claim a victory.

But even on this all-important issue, the only way the leftists could ensure party unity was by tacking on billions of dollars in earmarks. These two bills contained so much pork, they had four legs and little curly tails and went "whee-whee-whee" all the way home.

Next, I'd like to know how it is that liberals never get tired of making fun of President Bush for the way he speaks, forever taking him to task for mangling "nuclear," but take no notice of the fact that when discussing his wife’s illness, John Edwards turned "biopsy" into "bopsy."

When people have 25 bucks to lay out for an unreadable book allegedly written by, say, John Kerry, Barack Obama or one of the Clintons, it's clear even to me that we Americans have way too much disposable income. No wonder the liberals figure taxes aren't high enough.