Burt Prelutsky

My friend Pat Sajak recently made an excellent point. He said that inasmuch as he doesn’t take global warming to heart, he sees no good reason to alter his life style. However, he wonders why those who are insisting they can feel the rising ocean lapping at their ankles don’t take drastic action to alter theirs.

He’s right, of course. I mean, assuming you are one of those people who actually has faith in U.N. reports and really believes that man controls the earth’s thermostat, wouldn’t you have to shape up? I mean, wouldn’t you think these worrywarts would all begin riding bicycles and start wearing their snow suits to bed? It’s damn hard taking their “The End is Near” placards seriously when they’re driving their Hummers to and from the demonstrations.

Consider Al Gore, the man who could give Chicken Little lessons in panic and hysteria. As ominous as global warming is, it obviously hasn’t done anything to spoil his appetite. And why, when he isn’t shrieking into a microphone, doesn’t he look terrified? If you thought that, say, a giant comet was hurtling at the earth or a dozen nuclear bombs were set to explode, would be you be grinning and saying “Cheese” to every camera pointed in your direction?

The thing about liberals is that they’re always telling the rest of us how to live and then, oh so conveniently, ignoring their own advice. Take such professional busybodies as Arianna Huffington and Bobby Kennedy, Jr., for instance. She excoriates people who drive SUVs while she and her two tots live in a mansion that I can guarantee sucks up BTUs at a rate that would make your head spin. As for Mr. Kennedy, who spends his life screaming about what the rest of us are doing to destroy the ozone layer, he’s constantly gadding about on private jets.

Let us not forget that other holier-than-thou character, Michael Moore, who has also sworn off commercial airlines in favor of corporate aircraft.

Of course, that brings us to her royal highness, Nancy Pelosi, non-stop Speaker of the House. First off, she insisted on an upgrade to a larger military jet than the one her predecessor had. She wanted one with a private bedroom, a kitchen, and room for her entire family -- second cousins included -- on a jet that was capable of flying non-stop from Washington, D.C., to San Francisco.

When some people began to question the need she had for this airborne palace, she insisted that rabble-rousers were only raising a stink because she was a woman. Poor dear! She had no sooner lifted that marble ceiling all by her wonderful self, and here it came crashing down on her tiara!