Burt Prelutsky

What’s more, the Gores have increased their energy consumption in the year since his movie was released. So, apparently all that scary stuff about melting polar caps was strictly for public consumption.

It’s fortunate that the Gores aren’t having to wait for Al’s social security to kick in, for none of this comes cheap. Their average monthly electric bill is $1,359. Their natural gas bill runs them an additional $1,080. That’s about $30,000 a year, and that doesn’t take into account their other dwellings!

But lest you think any of these embarrassing facts would have had an adverse effect on the affection in which Hollywood holds Al Gore, you’re even a bigger sucker than my wife. I mean, let’s face it. If the Gores are plunking down $2,500-a-month to make sure that Tipper’s electric blanket doesn’t conk out, what do you think all those celebrity greenies are spending to keep their gargantuan homes and Olympic-sized swimming pools heated?

How many of those clucks hugging Al Gore at the Kodak Theater do you think fly commercial? I mean, don’t you find it the least bit odd that the person ahead of you in the security line at the airport taking off his shoes and unbuckling his belt, or, God forbid, having his hair gel confiscated, is never George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio?

I happen to live very near to the Van Nuys Airport. Commercial airlines do not use it. Instead, the heavy traffic is caused by private jets constantly flying in and out. Their passengers are more often than not movie actors and rock stars. Yes, those very same people who are always insisting that the rest of us walk to the supermarket, bicycle to work, and drive cars that run on cow poop and cabbage leaves.

Frankly, the only way that Al Gore’s piece of left-wing propaganda wouldn’t have won the Oscar this year is if Michael Moore had had a film titled, perhaps, “My Country, My Curse,” in competition.