Burt Prelutsky

Two recent news items grabbed my attention. The first of them dealt with a brouhaha occurring down in Katy, Texas. It seems that farmer Craig Baker decided to show his displeasure over the Katy Islamic Association buying up neighboring acreage and trying, he felt, to force him off his land for the purpose of building a Muslim school, mosque and community center. I suspect part of what concerned Mr. Baker was that the ringing of all those bells calling the faithful to prayer meetings five times a day would upset his livestock. Another concern might be what was being hatched in the mosque by people who seem to take attacks on Islamic terrorists far more to heart than attacks on Americans.

What Mr. Baker did in response was to start staging pig races on his property. As we’re all well aware, Muslims think pigs are filthy animals, which seems to be pretty much how they also happen to feel about dogs, Jews and Christians. Frankly, I know I wouldn’t wish to live downwind of Baker’s spread, but, if push came to shove, I’d rather deal with a Texan making moolah than with a bunch of mullahs making trouble.

The other event that captured my attention was the coronation of Nancy Pelosi. Now I realize that the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, for reasons I can’t begin to fathom, has ordained that the Speaker of the House is next in line after the Vice-President to ascend to the presidency should there ever be that void to fill. So nobody should be too surprised if, within the next couple of years, Rep. Pelosi spearheads a movement to impeach both Bush and Cheney. Judging by her self-aggrandizing rhetoric on the day she was sworn in, it’s obvious that she obviously regards herself as Queen of America, and has already begun daydreaming about new drapes for the Oval Office.

With all of her silly babble about raising the marble ceiling, making all things possible for all women, you’d have thought Mrs. Pelosi had actually accomplished something truly magnificent. As it is, considering the number of women who have been elected governor and senator in America in elections that required garnering more than a few thousand votes in a congressional race, she merely came across as pompous and silly. And just in case she never noticed, nations such as England, Israel, Pakistan and the Philippines, have already been led by women. So much for that marble ceiling.