Sad to say, but when we look at you, old fellow, we don’t believe for a moment
that you’re as virile as a young bull. Decked out with your toupee and your gold chains,
quite honestly you look as desperate as a deer caught in the headlights.
My advice is that you start acting your age. I mean, after you stop bragging about
what a smart guy you are and how much money you have, what could the two of you talk
about? How long can you possibly pretend to enjoy hip-hop or give a hoot whether Brad
Pitt and Angelina Jolie last out the year? Best of all, you’ll finally be able to relax and
quit sucking in your stomach.
If you have this insatiable need to let people know that you have oodles of
disposable income, a Rolex on your wrist beats a doxy on your arm. And, best of all, you
won’t have to buy it a diamond necklace in order for it to give you the time of day.