A recent Zogby poll, conducted at the behest of a new TV game show, divulged a
lot of facts about Americans which most pundits have glommed onto as proof that we’re
a nation of ignoramuses. I suppose that was the conclusion the producers were hoping
for, suggesting, as it does, that there’s a sizable audience out there craving yet another TV
game show.
I, on the other hand, being something of a Pollyanna, saw a silver lining in the
results. For instance, 57% of Americans could readily identify J.K. Rowling’s Harry
Potter, while only 50% could name England’s prime minister. To me, that’s a healthy
sign, just as the fact that more of us can identify Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn than
Benjamin Disraeli and Herbert Asquith.
Likewise, we’re supposed to be embarrassed that 60% of those polled could name
Homer Simpson’s son Bart, but a mere 20% were able to name either of Homer’s epic
poems, “The Iliad” and “The Odyssey.” Good for us, I say. Long ago, when I was
young and had greater stamina, I slogged my way through those two works, and I hadn’t
been so bored since tenth grade geometry. The darn things went on forever and
contained not a single laugh. Give me “The Simpsons” any day of the week and twice on
Sunday.
Asked what planet Superman came from, a rousing 60% knew it was Krypton,
while 37% knew that Mercury is the planet closest to the sun. Frankly, that last little
tidbit confounded me. How is it that so many of you knew that? Where was I when the
rest of you -- at least 37% of you -- were busily boning up on the solar system?
I took heart from the fact that nearly three out of four Americans knew the names
of the Three Stooges, but only 42% could name the three branches of the federal
government. It’s my hunch that they could have identified them, but they just weren’t in
the mood. Most days, that’s exactly how I feel about the federal government.
Finally, 75% of Americans have no trouble correctly identifying at least two of
Snow White’s seven dwarfs, but only one in four can name two Supreme Court justices.
Frankly, I don’t know how that’s possible, seeing as how several of them share the same
name – Sneezy Souter, Sleepy Stevens, Grumpy Kennedy, and, of course, Dopey
Ginsburg.