Burt Prelutsky

Sigmund Freud was the fellow who had the copyright on the ego, the id and the superego.  He was also the guy who managed to turn the couch, formerly just another piece of over-stuffed Viennese furniture, into a legitimate business expense.  But even he acknowledged that he was unable to decipher what it was that women wanted.

Strangely enough, that happens to be one question to which I actually know the answer.  Women want men to be manly chaps, strong and virile, while at the same time they want us to be completely open and in touch with our emotions.  Furthermore, they want us to be more interested in what they think, say and feel than we are in cars, sports and beer.  In short, they want the impossible.  The more reasonable amongst them will settle for our picking up after ourselves.

The thing that has me stumped is trying to figure out what leftists want.  For example, when left-wing judges take it upon themselves to legislate from the bench, liberals are quick to say that the Constitution is a living document and that it has to evolve to accommodate a changing world.  However, whenever a conservative suggests that the 14th amendment, which grants automatic citizenship to any person born in America, ought to be changed in order to deny that gift to those born to illegal aliens, those same people carry on as if the Constitution, like the 10 Commandments, was carved in stone.

But, really, we have no reason to believe that the Founding Fathers, who fought a war in order to gain sovereignty for this nation, wouldn’t have entertained second thoughts if they’d ever envisioned a foreign invasion numbering in the millions.  I mean, it’s a basic tenet of the law that nobody is entitled to profit from a crime.  To suggest that the child, the beneficiary of his parents’ illegal act, doesn’t profit is patently absurd.  To argue that he shouldn’t be deprived of the advantage because he didn’t break the law is ridiculous.  You might as well suggest that if a bank robber gives his ill-gotten gains to his wife and kids, the family should get to keep the loot because, after all, they weren’t the ones who drove the getaway car.