The fact is, none of us are buying the routine. We all know that you're just gossiping with your cousin Shirley or lying about your golf score or yakking incessantly about “The Apprentice”. There's no harm in it, just as there's no real harm in your next door neighbor putting on his wife's party dress before going out to water his lawn. It just seems so darn goofy.
The real mystery remains, why would anybody want to pack around a telephone? Is it possible that I am the only person in the world who doesn't want to be reachable 24 hours a day? Has it finally come down to this, that there are only two kinds of people in the world—everybody else and me?