DEAR BRUCE: My wife is constantly getting credit cards and maxing them out. I always end up bailing her out. I took a loan out to remodel the house and did use the full amount of the loan. I never went to the bank to close that account. In the meantime, she managed to take out $20,000 from that loan. She also racked up $5,000 in credit card debt. I had an account set up in another bank in my name only, and she found the checkbook and wrote checks for $2,000. I then closed both accounts. If she gets credit cards in the mail again, is there any way I can get out of paying for them? I kicked her out and now she is now living with our daughter. She is still sneaking around using credit cards. My daughter works two jobs and attends college. (I pay those bills.) I would let her have all that money if she would just pay off the cards, but that did not work. I don't think I am ready for a divorce yet, but do I need a lawyer? -- S.P., via e-mail
DEAR S.P.: You have a wife with a serious sickness. She is clearly totally irresponsible and will do whatever is necessary to satisfy her spending habits. Your school-age daughter may be helping her with this disease rather than helping her to get cured. If you're not ready for a divorce, so be it. She is not legally incompetent. The only way that you could begin to untangle yourself from her legally is to see a divorce attorney. I know that's not something that you're anxious to do, but what makes you believe this is not going to continue? Sit down with your daughter and tell her that your wife, her mother, is sick. Ask if she's going to continue to enable her sickness. Unfortunately, unless you want to bring charges against her for forging checks, etc., which I doubt you do, the initiation of a divorce may be your only way out.
DEAR BRUCE: My last child will be starting college in the fall, and I would like to know the best way to finance his education (pre-med). Unfortunately, with a $12,000 academic scholarship, tuition is still $28,000. I have money in the bank, but my husband's job is not secure, so I don't want to spend all of our money on college. I paid off my mortgage a few years back. I don't have any major bills. The only financial problem is that we have very little retirement money in our 401(k). We lost most of our retirement money the first time in junk bonds back in 1987 and now with mutual funds since the market is down. We do not have a pension, only a 401(k). Ideally, we would like the loans in his name and we will help him as much as we can to pay it off. Would it be beneficial for us to take an equity loan so we can get a write off on our taxes? Or have him take out regular loans that we have to co-sign? -- E.N., via e-mail