DEAR BRUCE: I have been married for 45 years to the same man. About four years ago, I separated from him for a year. Since then, we have been back living together. The problem: he refuses to put my name on his checkbook. He gets two pension checks each month, and I get a very small pension check from one of his. I pay most of the household bills with my money. He pays the rent. I don't have any spending money throughout the month. I feel like a child/housekeeper. I think he is still angry over the fact that I left for one year. If something should happen to him, what would my rights be? Will I have access to any of the money in the checking account? Will I have to go through the court system to have access? I have asked over and over to be added just for the security I would feel, but he refuses. He says that the pension checks are his money. -- Reader via e-mail
DEAR READER: You've lived with this guy for almost half a century. I have to believe that this is not a new persona that he is showing now. You are his wife, and if he passes away, you will be his widow and will have access to a minimum of a third of his assets. If he has a will that states otherwise, that is another matter but you will be entitled to at least a third. It sounds to me like this is something you have put up with, and you are probably going to have to continue to unless you want to leave him or kick him out. I know this sounds cruel, but it seems from what you are saying that this is not a new attitude of his. You can say to him that you are not going to pay any more monthly bills unless he shares the money with you. That could get a little bit iffy, but aside from that, both of you are acting like children. It's unlikely this is going to change.
DEAR BRUCE: I have been divorced for almost four years and have a concern about the mortgage that my ex-husband presently has with my name on it. I did a quitclaim deed on the home, and it is written in our divorce decree, but friends have told me that the only way to get out of being responsible for that loan is for the ex-husband to refinance in his name. If this is the case, how do I get him to do so knowing that he would not agree? -- K.M., via e-mail
DEAR K.M.: You cannot. The quitclaim that you gave gives away only your rights, not your responsibilities. If there is a foreclosure, it will be against you and your ex, since you are still on the bond. Unless he agrees, you're stuck until the mortgage is fully paid. This is another instance where I have to believe you were poorly represented or not represented at all, since a competent attorney would have clearly explained your responsibilities in giving a quitclaim.
DEAR BRUCE: My question is, do you have to disclose that you had a bankruptcy when it is off all of your credit reports? This is for creditors, banks etc.? Mine came off this past November. -- T.H., via e-mail
DEAR T.H.: If you are applying for a loan and if it says on the application "have you ever had a bankruptcy?" you will have to answer in the affirmative, otherwise you are filing a fraudulent credit application. This is not information that you have to volunteer, but if the question is asked, you will have to answer honestly.