Romney's Plans? What about Obama's?

Bruce Bialosky

3/26/2012 12:01:00 AM - Bruce Bialosky

Left-wing pundits and politicos continue to insist that Mitt Romney has yet to express what he wants to accomplish as President. Somehow they seem to ignore his call for a 20% across the board tax cut, repeal of ObamaCare, and enactment of a comprehensive energy plan. Maybe they didn’t notice his plans to balance the budget and strengthen the military, and thus gain greater respect and trust around the world.

But for some reason, President Obama hasn’t been pressed at all to state what he wants to accomplish if he were given four more years in the White House. Through aggressive investigative reporting, we have been able to obtain a top-secret document from the Obama headquarters in Chicago that describes what the President wants to achieve in his second term.

Here are the highlights:

1. This whole thing with General Motors isn’t going quite as well as Obama expected. Taking over the company and wiping out the investors and bondholders had another purpose besides paying off the union members. Obama wanted to transform archaic GM into the world’s foremost producer of chic, super-green electric cars. Despite spending $81 billion of taxpayers’ money, the attempt to foist the Chevy Volt upon the American public has been an utter failure, even with soaring gas prices and massive tax credits. In fact, GM has shut down the production line on three occasions in an attempt to reduce their bulging inventory of unwanted cars.

Apparently, the Obama team has decided to hold a lottery to give away the Volts, much like the one used in his reelection campaign to select his dinner companions. The lucky winners will be given Volts without any tax obligations; unlike those lucky folks on the Price is Right, as Obama is convinced that sales will skyrocket if enough people see them on the road. The thought is that the cost of giving away the Volts is a pittance compared to the money already spent “saving” the American car industry. And, of course, once Americans start buying Volts, the benefits to the environment will catapult electric cars to the forefront of the auto industry.

2. Despite wasting billions of taxpayer dollars in unrecoverable loans to Solyndra and other bankrupt solar energy companies, Energy Secretary Chu never approached achieving his obsessive clean-energy fantasy. No matter how much money was funneled to Obama’s largest campaign contributors or offered to average Americans as tax credits, solar energy hasn’t made a dent in the energy market.

In the second term, the Administration will hire teams of workers to canvas neighborhoods and offer free installation of solar panels on people’s homes. These new “Sun Teams” will be like the Peace Corps for Solar Energy, creating thousands of new solar users. The program will also put thousands of construction workers back to work, helping to solve the problem Obama’s employment initiatives in his first term barely dented. The theory is that instead of flushing billions down the drain on solar companies, this direct approach will launch solar energy into the stratosphere.

3. A major failure of Obama’s first term has been the housing crisis. His administration has implemented plan after plan to cure the huge backlog of foreclosures, each of which has produced the same result – nothing. Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and the FHA have already soaked up $150 billion of taxpayer money to cover their deficient loans. But for the second term, they’ve come up with a plan that will kill two birds with one stone (an old saying that has fallen out of usage because of PETA.)

Obama’s plans have made sure that if he’s reelected, he’ll have a large debt to pay to illegal aliens. There are an estimated 12 million of them living here, as well as boatloads of empty houses, so the plan is to donate the homes to illegal immigrants. To sweeten the deal, Obama apparently intends to throw in a path to citizenship along with the deed. He figures that any illegal alien willing to take over one of these abandoned homes is providing America with a valuable service that validates their right to stay here. (We hear that this will be called the PIPEDREAM act.) This is perceived as a plan not only to eliminate the glut of foreclosed homes, but also to solidify the millions of new Americans as Democrats for generations to come. Everybody is a winner.

These are just a few of the highlights contained in this highly-classified memo drafted by David Axelrod and his team in Chicago. They haven’t yet made it public because they feel that running on their record of the first four years will be wholly sufficient to carry them to victory in November -- that and $300 million spent telling Americans that Mitt Romney is a dog abuser.

P.S. They plan to bring the annual deficit down to $1 trillion a year by Obama’s eighth year. We are thoroughly convinced that all these ideas will help to achieve that admirable goal.