Brent Bozell

This lurid storyline just isn't enough of a grossout for MTV. Within seconds of boasting to RJ about his prowess, Miles starts itching and pulling pubic lice out of his pants. Next comes the most absurd plot twist of all: Miles asks RJ to help him hold his pants open so he can shave his pubic hair, which is something that in reality has occurred about, oh, zero times in the history of man.

But it's merely a setup for a sick "Popeye"-twisting cartoon sequence. After the two boys stare down into a camera apparently inside the pants, viewers are transported into the cartoon, wherein the two boys are now microscopic in size, floating on a boat in a sea of pubic hair with a captain screaming at them to wipe out the menacing lice. Cartoon RJ pronounces the whole scene disgusting and then falls overboard into the diseased mess.

The affair ends with the student breaking it off. In a line that will never earn the script writer an Emmy, Miles announces, "Lady, a trip to your patch turned my crotch into a shrimp shack. Happens once, crabs on me. Happens twice -- totally gross." After he leaves, the teacher wistfully says, "You'll always be my ice cream man."

You wonder if MTV has anything resembling a "standards and practices" department, or if the "censors" are instead paid to wonder if the scene is disgusting enough to get pubescent teenager tongues wagging in school the next day about the wild and nasty content on MTV.

But the other obvious question is this: Do advertisers who claim to screen these shows really want to associate their burgers and chewing gum and energy drinks with pubic-lice cartoons?

Grossed-out viewers can thank (among others) Orbit gum, Burger King, Red Bull, Microsoft Windows Phone, Tresemme shampoo, Allegra-D allergy medicine and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for making this whole spectacle possible.

Brent Bozell

Founder and President of the Media Research Center, Brent Bozell runs the largest media watchdog organization in America.
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