CBS News jumped in to promote Lambert where ABC left off. How dumb did Adam Lambert think America was? Let's survey his comical answers.
1. Did you have any idea your performance at the AMAs would ignite this firestorm? Lambert said: "No clue. No clue at all."
2. Did you plan those sexually charged moves in the rehearsal? Lambert: "Those kind of came from more of a impromptu place. No, those were not rehearsed."
3. This was the best question from CBS interviewer Maggie Rodriguez: Now that you have had time to think about the children, your child fans, do you feel that you need to apologize to them? Lambert's absolutely classic answer: "I think it's up to the parents to -- to discern what their child's watching on television."
4. Rodriguez followed up: "Well, but they had no idea they were about to see something like that on network TV." That's where Lambert started sounding like a lawyer: "Well, you know -- and you know, just to play devil's advocate with you, Lady Gaga smashing whiskey bottles. Janet Jackson grabbing a male dancer's crotch. Eminem talked about how Slim Shady has '17 rapes under his belt.' There's a lot of very adult material on the AMAs this year and I know I wasn't the only one. I'm not using that as an excuse and I don't have any -- I didn't take any offense with those performers' choices, I'm just saying I think it's up to a parent to watch the television. It was almost 11 at night. If they're concerned with certain material, maybe TiVo it and preview it before your small child is watching it."
Oh, shut up. Rodriguez summed up Lambert's lack of regret:
5. So you don't feel that it's your responsibility to issue an apology? Lambert unfurled what could be a motto for the entertainment world in general: "I'm not a baby sitter. I'm a performer."
So we can blame Lambert, we can blame ABC, and for starting this all, we can blame Fox and "American Idol." They took up Lambert and made him a gender-bending crusader for gay liberation in entertainment. Sexual politics trumped his screechy (and let's face it, lack of) talent. Lambert's honesty about his absolute, leather-bound mission to offend came out at the CBS interview's end. He was asked if he had to do it over again, what would he do differently? "I would sing it a little bit better."