1. Springer is shot by accident by Ku Klux Klansmen dancing around a burning cross, and he's then transported to Hell to do a Springer show. A disclaimer is shown that reads in part, "It may not be suitable for viewers without a strong grasp of Judeo-Christian mythology."
2. Jerry reads one of Satan's cue cards to introduce the next guest. Jerry hesitatingly reads that the guest is, "The hypocrite son of the fascist tyrant on high, Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus is fat, effeminate and wearing a diaper.
3. Satan sings, "So he turned the water into wine, oooh! So he walked across the freaking seas, oooh! So you got yourself crucified. Here's a little biscuit from me." Satan holds up an off-white cookie that resembles the Eucharist. Jesus then grabs the biscuit from Satan and holds it above his head before throwing it down as he sings: "I am Jesus, son of man, son of Mary, son of God. So do not, do not, do not f--- with me. I do not want your biscuit. I want your love and your respect, for I am love, and I love all mankind."
4. The chorus then sings, "Jesus is gay, Jesus is gay." Jesus yells at the choir to stop, but then admits, "Actually, I am a bit gay."
5. Eve sings to Jesus that she shouldn't have been cast out of the garden for one simple mistake. Jesus responds that Eve had her chance, and she blew it.
6. Eve reaches under Christ's diaper and fondles his genitals. Jesus sings that he was crucified and Eve didn't even care. Eve and Jesus continue arguing and come to physical blows.
7. Springer introduces Mary, and the choir sings, "Raped by an angel, raped by an angel, raped by an angel, raped by God!" The Blessed Mother enters. She is angry and pointing at Jesus. She sings a song to him asking things like, "Where were you when I was getting old? Where were you when the children cried?" Satan sings back, "Jesus wasn't there. He didn't care."
This spectacle's defenders suggest this isn't a mockery of Christianity. "This production is a parody, with tongue firmly in cheek," opera director Keith Alan Baker told the Post. "No disrespect is intended."
That's about as plausible as a Klansman saying the burning cross is merely for roasting marshmallows.
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