But it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Bennetts is most effective when she stresses the intrinsic value of work. I've long argued that the myth of the stay-at-home mom is just that. A myth. Moms have not been spending three hours of floor time a day with Junior since the beginning of time. They were in their homes _ working. Junior was there, but more likely to be padding after Mom as she managed her household than playing board games or doing educational flash cards with her.

I happen to think there are too many stay-at-home moms today who see work as a necessary evil they are glad isn't necessary for them. Then with the average mom having just a few kids, and the work of the household so much less than what it used to be, their energy may get poured into little Junior in a way that's not wholesome for anyone. Enter the hovering "helicopter parent," who can be just as unhealthy for a child as the one who spoils her kids because she feels so guilty about being out there 60 hours a week pursuing the golden ring.

The point is that work is a good thing. It existed in the Garden of Eden before the fall. I'm grateful my children see me doing work I love, and I think it's a good thing for almost any mom to find something, even for just a few hours a week in the home, which helps bring balance to her home and gives her a chance to say to a child, "Honey, I'm working right now. And that's important to me, too."

Unfortunately, balance is what's missing in Bennetts' book. I'm not saying I've found that balance in my own life. But I do know it's impossible to achieve when you have a big chip on your shoulder.