Ben Shapiro

There are many in this country who are perfectly satisfied with a life of serfdom. They don't feel hemmed in by their swaddling blankets -- they feel warm and safe. But there are those of us who still want to live free. We want to be adults, and we want the responsibilities of adulthood. It is we who have been deprived of our choice.

Here's the good news: At least we know now not to break Archimedes' principle of buoyancy while frying our turkeys. The rest of humanity picked that up in 212 B.C.E. If our educational system keeps this up, at this rate, we'll find ourselves back in the Stone Age attempting to literally recreate the wheel. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty dangerous mechanism. Do we have any regulators keeping an eye on those round demons?

In our topsy-turvy world, the left insists that those of us who want fewer taxes and services are the tyrants. The paternalism of the state has, counterintuitively, become "freedom."

A friend of mine recently proposed a fascinating thought experiment. Why not let everyone define his or her own tax code? If someone wants lots of services, let them pay for it with higher taxes. If someone wants to live without the comforting safety net that warns them of murderous fowl cookers, let them opt out of the tax burden. The outcome of the experiment is obvious. The right would buy into this proposal immediately. The left would protest. Why? Because the right doesn't need the left to subsidize its agenda; the left needs the right to subsidize its agenda.

Which means that if anything is to change, we will need to grow up. We will need to fight back against the Turkey-Frying-Warning crowd. The Department of Homeland Security is designed to ensure our security from enemies foreign and domestic, not to save us from the crime wave of red-hot poultry. We can fry our own damn turkeys, thank you very much.

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro is an attorney, a writer and a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the Freedom Center. He is editor-at-large of Breitbart and author of the best-selling book "Primetime Propaganda: The True Hollywood Story of How the Left Took Over Your TV."
TOWNHALL DAILY: Be the first to read Ben Shapiro's column. Sign up today and receive daily lineup delivered each morning to your inbox.
©Creators Syndicate